You're Not Alone

43: Hawaii Pt2

OWENS POV
Today was our last day in Hawaii. It was an amazing honeymoon. 7 whole days with Amelia, alone. It was awesome. I was laying in bed and she rolled over and snuggled into me.
"Good morning," she said softly.
"Good morning," I said. She looked up at me and smiled.
"I love you," I said and ran my fingers through her hair.
"I love you too," she smiled as she ran her fingers over my chest. She leaned up and kissed me and I smiled as I flipped us over.
"I don't wanna leave," she said in between kisses.
"Me either," I said as I started kissing her neck. She giggled and pulled her close to me as we started making out.
-
Amelia and I were getting ready to go out to lunch. I wanted to ask her something, but I was really nervous. I know I can ask or tell her anything, but I know my question might catch her off guard. I want to ask her about having kids. I know she has Kamryn, and I'm Kamryn's father figure too, but, I want to know if she would want to have more kids. I know it'll catch her off guard but I want to ask, but it also might scare her because of her last pregnancy. She told me about it a while back, way before we were dating, I don't think she ever meant to, but it came out, and I know she gave birth to an analeptic baby.
"Hey can I ask you something?" I asked. She looked up from her phone and smiled.
"Yeah sure you know that," she said sweetly.
"Don't freak out," I said.
"Why what did you do?" She said.
"I didn't do anything," I chuckled, "but I was wondering if, uh, if you'd ever wanna have kids with me? Not right now, like in the future." She looked at me and smiled, and I knew it was okay.
"Yeah I would," she said, "I think Kamryn would love a little brother or sister."
"Me too," I said, "she'd be an awesome big sister."
"She would be," She said, "but can I tell you something?"
"Yeah of course," I said.
"I'm scared to get pregnant again," she admitted, "it's kinda dumb but."
"It's not dumb," I said, "it's a normal reaction."
"What if I only make brainless babies? Would you still love me?" She said quietly.
"Of course I would still love you," I said, "don't be ridiculous, nothing could ever stop me from loving you."
"Okay," she nodded.
"You know how rare it is to have an analeptic baby right? The possibility of have two is super rare," I said.
"Well not everyone put all the crap into their system that I did," she sighed, "that's the problem."
"I will still love you no matter what okay? You never have to worry about how much I love you," I said and kissed her. 
"I know that," she smiled, "and you never have to worry about how much I love you." I smiled and kissed her again.
"Let's go get lunch okay?" I suggested.
"Sounds good," she smiled and grabbed my hand.
AMELIAS POV
God he asked the question. I knew he was going to ask. I hate it. I don't hate that he wants to have kids, I don't at all, it's rather cute, and I want to have kids with him too, but, it makes me so vulnerable. So fucking vulnerable. All I can think about is Christopher. What if my body can't make healthy babies? What if I messed it all up with the drugs? I can't do that to Owen. He asked the question. He asked and I answered, but now I'm so scared. We were sitting on the beach and he was taking a nap, but I couldn't sleep with this on my mind. With Christopher on my mind. I was so worried. What if I couldn't make a healthy baby? What if I could never give Owen a healthy baby of his own? He said he would still love me but what if he doesn't?
"Hey Owen?" I said quietly.
"Mhm?" He said, he wasn't asleep.
"I have to pee I'll be right back," I said.
"Okay," he said. I grabbed my phone and walked back to the hotel. I walked into the lobby and ran to the bathroom and dialed Addison's number. I locked myself in the end stall and waited for her to pick up.
"Amelia? Hey, I thought you were on your honeymoon, everything okay?" She said.
"He asked the question," I said.
"What question? What are you talking about?" She said.
"The kids question," I said, "he wants more kids."
"Well that's a good thing isn't it?" She said.
"What if I can't make healthy babies Addie?" I said, trying not to cry.
"Amelia, you know how rare it is," she said.
"What if I can't give Owen a kid of his own?" I said.
"Okay just clam down alright? You know the chances of having a brainless baby again is super rare, and you have been clean for so long that I'm 100% positive you'll be alright, I promise," she said.
"You promise?" I said.
"I promise Amy," she said.
"I'm so scared," I said.
"You have a man who loves you more than love itself, he'll be there for you I know it, does he know?" Addison said.
"He does," I said.
"You'll be okay," Addison said, "now go enjoy your honeymoon and stop worrying!"
"Okay I will," I chuckled, "love you."
"Love you too," she said and hung up. I took a few deep breaths and walked out of the bathroom. I walked into the lobby and saw Owen coming in.
"Hey," I said.
"Hey I was just coming to look for you," he said, "everything alright?"
"Yeah I'm good, uh, Meredith called I chatted for a few moments," I said.
"Wanna go back to the beach?" He asked cutely.
"Yes, definitely," I said and pecked his lips, I really did have the best man by my side.
-
We were back in the hotel room packing our bags. I didn't want to leave. It was beautiful here and I had the best time with Owen. I missed Kamryn like crazy though. I zipped my bag shut and Owen turned around with his suitcase.
"Did I freak you out this morning?" He said.
"No," I said.
"Amelia," he said, "I can see you panicking. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to freak you out, I just wanted to know."
"I saw it coming," I said, "you didn't freak me out, I'm just worried."
"I'm sorry," he said and came over and kissed my forehead.
"It's not your fault," I said, "I want to have kids with you. You're the love of my life and I want nothing more to continue our family together, it just scares me a little, but none of it is your fault, and yeah, I'm really scared, but I have you right there by my side."
"I love you," he said, "don't ever forget that okay?"
"I love you too," I smiled as he kissed me. He really was the best husband.