You're Not Alone

45: Terrified

3 months later
AMELIAS POV
I locked myself in my office bathroom because I could not stop throwing up. I was so sick. I've been sick for the past three days. I've been trying to hide it but I can't tell if Owen has noticed. At first I thought it was just the flu or the stomach bug, but then it came at the same time everyday. I bought five pregnancy tests, just to make sure, and all five were positive. I was terrified. What if it was brainless? What if something was wrong? What if my baby boy or girl wasn't healthy? There was a knock on the door and I froze.
"Amelia?" Owen said. Shit not now. He would know I was sick. The bathroom reeked of vomit. Shit. What do I do?
"Amelia?" Owen said again.
"Hey I'll be out in a minute," I said.
"Okay, you alright?" Owen said.
"Yup just had to pee," I said and sprayed the bathroom. I washed my hands and opened the door.
"You okay?" He said.
"Yeah I'm fine," I said and kissed his cheek.
"Okay," he said, "I was thinking about grabbing lunch, you in?"
"Yeah sure," I said and grabbed a piece of gum because I'm certain my breath smells of vomit.
"Okay," he said. We walked down the hallway and picked up Kamryn from daycare for lunch since it was Saturday. She told us all about her morning with her cousins and everything she did in daycare, but all I could think about was my pregnancy. I was happy, I really was, I mean, I'm pregnant with Owen's baby. We were going to have a baby together, and Kamryn would get to be a big sister. But was the baby healthy? I was nervous to get an ultrasound. I didn't want to. I was so scared of finding out bad news.
"Amelia," Owen said.
"Yeah?" I said, snapping out of my thoughts.
"What's going on?" He said quietly.
"Nothing, sorry I was thinking about a case," I said.
"A brain tumor?" Kamryn said.
"Yup," I said.
"Is it a big one?" She said.
"It is," I said.
"How does the brain tumor get inside people's heads?" She asked cutely.
"It grows, when there's a bunch of bad cells they come together and start a growth, which is a tumor," I explained.
"Hm," she said as she continued eating, "you're so smart mama."
"Thank you baby," I chuckled and Owen smiled at me. My pager went off and I frowned.
"I'll see you two later okay?" I smiled and kissed their heads.
"Love you," Owen said.
"Love you too," I said as I ran down the hallway.
OWENS POV
Something is up with Amelia. I feel like she's avoiding me. She's just acting weird. She locked herself in the bathroom before and claimed she just had to pee but I don't know. She totally zoned out at lunch and now she's in surgery so I can't talk to her. I grabbed my phone and sent her a text.
"Hey whenever you're out of surgery meet me in my office," I sent. I followed that with a "it's nothing bad" text. About 20 minutes later she replied.
"Okay just scrubbed out," it read. I waited and finally she opened the door.
"Hey what's up?" She smiled, maybe I was making it up, maybe she was fine.
"Did I do something?" I asked.
"What? No, what are you talking about?" She said and sat down.
"I don't know, you just are acting weird today, like you're avoiding me or something," I said.
"I'm not avoiding you I promise," she said, "I just had a super busy schedule today, but you didn't do anything okay?"
"Okay," I nodded and she got up and kissed me.
"So were okay?" I said.
"We're okay," She smiled. I smiled and kissed her cheek and hugged her.
"How was your surgery?" I asked.
"It went well," she said.
"That's good," I said.
"Yup," she said.
AMELIAS POV
I have to tell him. I'm absolutely terrified to though. I'm so scared. I'm scared that I'm pregnant. I'm scared something will be wrong. I was walking out of the hospital with Kamryn and Owen was already on his way home.
"Mama how was your day?" Kamryn asked as we walked through the parking lot.
"My day was good," I said, "how was your day?"
"Super good!" She giggled as I buckled her in the backseat.
"And why was your day super good?" I said.
"Because I got to spend the whole day with my cousins," she smiled.
"So you had a fun day?" I smiled.
"Yeah," she giggled, "did you get the brain tumor?"
"Yup," I smiled.
"Was it really big?" She asked as I pulled out of the hospital.
"It was a little one," I said.
"How little?" She asked.
"Like the size of an Oreo," I chuckled.
"I thought you said it was big," she said.
"That was a different brain tumor," I said.
"Oh," she said. I parked next to Owen's car and unbuckled her.
"Can you carry me?" She asked cutely.
"Sure," I chuckled. I picked her up and she wrapped her arms around my neck as we walked inside. I pressed the buttons in the elevator and waited for the doors to open. I put Kamryn down as she ran over to the door and I unlocked it. I walked inside and Owen was making dinner.
"Hello," he smiled as Kamryn ran over and gave him a big hug.
"Hi daddy!" She giggled, "mama was telling me all about the brain tumor, she said it was the size of an Oreo."
"Was it now?" Owen chuckled.
"Kamryn make sure you wash your hands before dinner okay?" I said. She nodded and ran down the hallway to wash her hands. I looked at Owen and my stomach felt like it was in a knot.
-
Owen and I was cleaning up dinner and Kamryn was getting ready for bed. I decided that right now was when I was going to tell him.
"So hey uh remember when we talked about having kids on our honeymoon?" I said nervously.
"Yeah," He said.
"How soon did you mean you wanted kids?" I said, my voice shaking.
"Well I don't - wait, are you pregnant?" He said looked at me. I smiled and nodded.
"I am," I said.
"Oh my god," he smiled and hugged me. He picked me up and my legs went around his waist.
"I'm going to be a daddy again?" He said.
"You are," I smiled.
"Do you know how far along you are?" He asked.
"No, I found out like two days ago," I said.
"Is this why you were acting weird? I wasn't just imagining it?" He chuckled.
"Yes I was acting weird," I laughed.
"I'm so happy," he said.
"Me too," I smiled, "but our secret I want to tell Kamryn in a special way okay?"
"Okay," he nodded, "how are you? Are you nervous? Scared? Do you want to talk about it?" He was so considerate and caring, with him, everything felt alright.