Poisonous Blood | Jenlisa

look into my life for a second

First off, I am deeply sorry for disappearing on all of you guys. I haven't been able to update for like what? Two weeks? Is it two weeks?

I'm sorry for that. You should know that I still have a life outside Wattpad. If you've been reading my notes about my life, you should know that I have a lot going on right now. I'm not saying this because I'm mad. I'm saying this because it's the truth.

I've been struggling with my life right now as most of you have at one point in your life. All I ask for is a little patience from you guys.

If you want to know, I'm busy dealing with my school affairs. I'm a scholar under contract with our government and I'm planning to take a break from school, from the online approach that they are employing at this trying time, because I don't think I'm capable of multitasking or being logical or rational at this moment of my life.

One of my friends met an accident within a month after quarantine. We're not there for her. We only knew of it when she told us how a car ran into her motorcycle without even stopping to ask if she was okay and how she walked home cradling her bike on her side with a cracked helmet on her head.

We were on edge when we asked her if she hit her head because she was complaining about a ringing in her ear and bleeding and it was only then that she saw that crack on her helmet because of the impact she received from hitting a cement post she barely even remember happened.

We were on edge when we stressed that she should tell her brother about it because it's been days since that happened, and we were suspecting a concussion. Thankfully, she did and got checked up, telling us it was only a minor head injury.

But worse comes to worst when we found out that she had hit her head on a chair again when she lost consciousness while alone in her house and only had been found by her brother who responded immediately, taking her to the hospital. That was when we knew it was far from a minor injury.

She got tested and found that there had been a buildup of a clot in her brain due to that accident and how I wish I could curse someone to hell.

To tell you guys, I'm someone who has a detachment issue. People would come and go in my life and I wouldn't even care. Even for my family years ago, I wouldn't show any sign of affection and I was okay with that, until my senior years in high school.

I realized that the people around me would kiss their parents' cheeks or tell them they love them, but I wasn't like them. I would be such an asshole if I'd say that the death of one of my friends in sophomore didn't affect me, but it was the truth. I was an asshole and I realized that in my last years in high school.

So, I trained myself. I would tell my Mom I love her every morning with a kiss on the cheek before going to school. We weren't really close at that time and she would be shocked every time I did it but I really want to see that happy glint in her eyes whenever I do it.

To tell you a backstory, there was one time that I ignored her for days because of something that caused a misunderstanding between us and when she had enough of it, she forced me to go to the city with her. It was then that we mended it. I was seduced by my favorite cake and I wouldn't even know if we'd ever make up if it wasn't for her insistence but I'm really glad we did.

My childhood wasn't pretty. It wasn't because of my family because I'm really glad I was born into this one that I would call my own. It's just that, the people around me weren't what they seemed at first glance. Sometimes they are manipulative people who would take advantage of the innocence of the young and taint it according to their liking.

Maybe, that's why I have this detachment and trust issues but I'm grateful that I was still pushed through the right path because other children who had experienced grave things in their childhood didn't have that privilege, which should never have happened at all. They should've been cared and nurtured to live without shame of what had happened and the guilt that they had in themselves for letting it happen to themselves because it was definitely not their fault.