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Snowflakes Are Falling From The Sky

Author : Sneehadorin

Reviewer : yoonchim_Z

Snowflakes Are Falling From The Sky

Cover: 2/10

First things first, it's blurry. Incredibly blurry. Jungkook's figure is barely focused on, and the whole cover is just one blur mess. I'm not a fan of the font and the colour used, it doesn't match with the picture at all. The effort to place a transparent Jungkook in the background just doesn't work, it literally looks like the tree is piercing through his eyes. I love the banners however, why not have the same theme? The cover and the banner doesn't match in the slightest. The purple theme suits your storyline very well. So go for it.

Title: 1/5

Not a fan of it. It's too long. You're making a title not a statement. And isn't it clear enough that snowflakes fall from the sky? Where else do they fall from? Shorten it. Or else change it entirely. Something that really relates to the story. Maybe a title related to flashbacks, the snowfall or the loneliness both lovers feel after being apart for too long. Take inspiration from any part of your story and go for it. Your book deserves to have a title that could easily pull in more readers.

Synopsis: 2/10

Remove all the dots. It doesn't make the readers feel the suspense, it just seems very dragged. The summary isn't so attractive, it does explain briefly what your story will be about but it doesn't have the element to pull in readers. It's common and basic, it's not attractive. I say this all the time but it's meaningful, use a teaser. Pluck out a tiny part of your story that you deem most interesting. This is how you pull in readers, make them curious, make them want to read. Your description just doesn't intrigue curiosity, fix it. Your story deserves reads and it's a plain shame to waste all that potential from the synopsis.

Plot: 23/30

Your story gave me a good first impression. Your writing in the first chapter had me intrigued and it pushed me to keep reading. It is a simple story, about a girl having flashbacks to the past about her moments with Jungkook. It was a common plot yet it was so sweet and heartwarming. I love the fluff you casually stuffed into the story, made me smile each and every time. It's of course easy to guess what was about to happen but the plot had an element of.. burning the readers' curiosity. Making us more and more intrigued. I liked it. I really do.

Character: 8/10

I can't say there are any developments for the characters but they were really well described. I could sense the emotions the main character was feeling when she recalled her memories with Jungkook. Her sadness and longing were depicted well and it made me pray for them to meet once again. Jungkook's love for her was truly sweet and not a cringy mess which I very much respect. You described the characters very well, great job.

Grammar: 12/25

I have to admit I gave you high marks for grammar right after the first chapter, but in the later chapters I could easily catch your mistakes. Most of the grammatical errors consisted of present tense words which should've been in it's past tense. Some words were misspelt as well. And certain sentences didn't sound right. (Ex: It isn't 'At a point' but 'At some point' or 'At one point') and ("written in the big gate" the 'in' should've been 'on') And there was a sentence she screamed "Ahh." with a full stop? Exclamation marks exist for a reason.

Writing Style: 5/10

I do have a complaint regarding the dots, it's okay to replace them with a full stop. It doesn't make the sentences any less intriguing, don't be afraid. Of course some sentences should be fixed, like "Not at all changed" should've been "Nothing had changed". And I get that V is Taehyung's stage name, but it would've been more realistic to write his actual name. In the later chapters your writing became messier and confusing which is a pity since I loved the first chapter.

Overall

It's a sweet story. Truly adorable. But please change the cover entirely and edit your grammar. Improve on your writing style and you may create something that's very beautifully portrayed. The story genuinely has a potential to shine as a short story. The plot was so heartwarming and could easily touched the hearts of the readers. I read how insecure you were with your story in the author's notes but don't be. Be proud of whatever you have written. My job is to point out the mistakes but yours is to improve and be proud of your story. Don't write it for your readers or me, but for yourself.

Review Scores : 53/100

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