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You Are Only Mine

Author : adoniya010

Reviewer : sprite_and_hamburger

You Are Only Mine

Cover - (3/10)

The cover was crowded with too many fonts and the fonts you used didn't match the background. The upper dialogue in the cover wasn't visible enough and the middle one was cut. The pic you choose is something that can go with a plot related to dance so I suggest using a different one. You can order your cover in some graphic shop available in Wattpad.

Title - (1/5)

I read the whole story but I didn't found any scene which can justify the title. In my opinion, the title should be something else and a more suitable one. Sure Jungkook could act like ''you are only mine" but half of the book was not based on this so you should change the title with the more suitable one.

Synopsis - (6/10)

I found too many mistakes in the description and you wrote Jungkook's name wrong in the description "Junkook" instead of "Jungkook".
The theory written in the description was too revealing, readers can easily guess what's the plot going to be. You can add some cliff-hanging dialogue and a little bit of theory without revealing the plot.

Plot - (14/30)

The plot was messy in the start because you added too many characters in one chapter which is quite confusing. Changing too many POVs in one chapter is not a good idea, I suggest to use 3rd or 1st person POV or you can just use 2 POV in one chapter. The pace of the story was fast in the start but smooth in the middle so please go smooth. In the first chapter, many scenes lack information, you put too many things in 1st and 2nd chapters which leads to some plot holes.
You need to a little more descriptive for some scenes specially when you are describing love.

Character - (7/10)

In starting the character seems totally fake but when the story progresses we can imagine their emotions. Jungkook was confused with his feelings and he started behaving rudely towards Jimin. Jimin also hates Jungkook but when Hobi brought up the idea of a fake account he suddenly started blushing?
Jimin was scared of Jungkook but again he started behaving all chill with Jungkook? Which is questionable for me. I feel somewhat you're rushing their feelings, slow down a little, and take things slow.

Grammar - (5/25)

I am sorry I had to say this but there are thousands of grammar mistakes in the whole book. Sometimes I lose focus while reading.
Please put some space after the period and comma or any punctuation mark, you wrote without giving space.
The vocabulary wasn't great either, you can replace some words with the more suitable ones. There were many typos in the book, the story surely needs an editor.

Writing style - (4/10)

The way you narrated the story wasn't good in my opinion. Don't change POV too much because it will cause confusion. Give some space after punctuation marks. The way you wrote the story was a bit messy, with too many dots in the paragraphs. Try to use different vocabulary for example:- for dialogues "he voices out", "he said with a disappointment''.
For anger "he gritted his teeth emphasizing each word'', "he growled".

Overall

The book surely needs an editor, there are many editing shops available in the Wattpad or you can edit by yourself but it's really hard.  Use only those characters which are needed in the scenes, don't put many characters and if you are going to put them then describe them properly.

Review Scores - 40/100

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