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Till This Trip Ends

Author : JanceyPhoenix

Reviewer : wuwtaetae

Till This Trip Ends

Cover: 4/10

You've gotta understand that people choose books based on cover, hell, even I choose then based on cover so if you don't have something good looking and presentable, you'll be loosing readers even before they read your book. Your cover brings out the trip element, yes, but it isn't something I'd recommend.

Title:  3/5

I think the title sounds good but please remove those extra period marks, it makes the title look really unprofessional. I think it fits your book tho but it'd be better if you shorten it.

Synopsis: 5/10

First things first, it gives out the whole plot. She's obviously going to choose Taehyung because he's the protagonist, not her ex. You've gotta give your readers a reason to read, you've gotta trigger their curiosity. I think the first two dialogues we're redundant and the third, misleading. When readers first read the third dialogue, they'd expect it to be something between Taehyung and coco, not draco and coco. I just feel like dialogues added in the synopsis must be from the protagonists or from someone about the protagonists. They're the lead for a reason, after all. The synopsis says coco moved on but where? Keep the synopsis simple and eye catching. Give in an open ending, something that triggers the reader's curiosity.

Plot,: 24/30

I think it's a good plot alright but it's just moving way too fast. Just the first chapter in and Taehyung asks coco to be his girlfriend? It's only been a week since their breakup too. I think you should extend the period of their breakup. Nobody, literally nobody can move on from someone they loved in at least 18 months (research says) even if it's Kim Taehyung offering to date them. It has potential though.

Character: 6/10

I couldn't see much of character development. You've used dialogues more than paragraphs which didn't help. Draco is just confusing. He's nice to her all along, protective, loving and caring when they were dating but now he's rude with a smirk and a girl by his side? It's only been a week! I couldn't understand Taehyung much, he was confusing and I couldn't feel anything from Coco's side even if it's her point of view. Try writing more in paragraphs than in dialogues, be descriptive with them. Whatever you described felt like a statement, try turning it into an emotion.

Grammer: 15/25

There were grammatical errors here and there. Even though there weren't much, they were there and they were distracting. I even found mistakes in your synopsis. You need to work on your sentence formation.

Writing style: 7/10

It has potential but try to make sentences longer. Try to add more paragraphs, explain the setting, explain where they are, make the readers see pictures. Due to the lack of explanation, it was hard imagining anything except their faces really. Work on it.  Moreover, I really liked Coco's thought process, I liked how you wrote it.

Overall:

Overall, it was okay. Not something I'd go for even if the plot is good. Work on professionalism and appearance, try building a structure and pace, don't rush it. Refrain from using excessive exclamation marks or period marks. Get someone to beta read it and you'll be fine!

Review Scores : 64/100

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