Author: SL-BTSILLION
Reviewer : yoonchim_Z
Be With You (BTS V)
Cover: 5/10
It's pretty, but it doesn't represent your story in any single way. Go for something dark and has a serious mood surrounding it. Yours could easily make the readers think it's a basic romance plot, what with the title and all. Readers want something that could attract them. Something different, something that stands out amongst the rest of the books in their god knows how huge library. Give them something that could make them thirsty for a dark plot, make them hungry because your story is worth reading!
Title: 2/5
It's a beautiful title, for a common and cliche romance plot. Your story is about the addiction of a sasaeng towards an idol, so the title should depict something dark and related to obsession. When I first saw it, I never would've thought that the plot was so dark and I bet plenty of other readers would've thought the same. You could use a word and expand more ideas from it, ex: sasaeng, obsession, addiction. Use this idea and search for words with similar meaning.
Synopsis: 10/10
Reeled me in like the way Celeste reeled in Jungkook. You gave out just the right amount of content without revealing too much. Your writing is 'chef's kiss', you were perfect in describing what the plot will be about. You portrayed a sasaeng very well without even having the need to mention the character's personality. Then there was the addition of Jungkook, so many plot twists, drama, and angst in just one tiny synopsis. It's beautiful, so beautifully well done!
Plot: 30/30
I have NEVER read anything like your story before. It's so unique, I didn't expect your book to have such a big twist. It's not the usual reader x bts kinda plot, the fact that you're writing a scary experience between the boys and a sasaeng is already mind blowing. I was hooked up since the very beginning, you kept me reading till the very end I don't regret it at all.
And the scenes, the humour behind Tae's and Kook's conversation in the beginning is adorable and absolutely made my day. I never guessed how dark the story would go. The angst, the thirst for more, I felt all that. This story is EASILY one of the best written plots I've seen and deserves so much more recognition.
Character: 10/10
Everyone was so well described. Celeste was portrayed as a really creepy character in the very beginning and her schemes just made her into a very twisted villain. You wrote her into someone just entirely obsessed with Taehyung and wouldn't let anything or anyone get in her way at all. Jungkook on the other hand, was so innocent and so naive but I just love him in your story. You can't avoid the feeling of sympathy for the poor boy. I felt the aura you're trying to get me to feel and it's amazing, enchanting even.
Grammar: 17/20
There were several things that you had overlooked while writing. In the first chapter, you'd written "perfect" as "prefect". And for the sentence, "He protects me from dark", you left out the "the" and it should've been "the dark". I found from three to four mistakes in the first chapter, words that were left behind and such. You constantly switch between present and past tenses. I recommend using the present since it's from the first person's pov after all. Look through and reedit your writing, it doesn't need any major editing.
Writing Style: 9/10
There's the habit of spacing after every exclamation mark, there really isn't any need to do so. It doesn't make it look any neater if that's what you're going for. Other than that there's really nothing to complain about. I'm in love with your writing! The story's written in a casual like style, and the uses of () like fyi and omg are easily accepted because most of them were used during their communication (dialogue).
Overall
I'm not famous. I don't have a huge amount of followers like everybody else, but I have to promote your book on my mb. I'm not kidding. It's beautiful, the best book I've read so far during my time of reviewing. Of course it wasn't 100% perfect, the errors and mistakes can't be looked over. Fix them and you'll have an entirely perfect book with a perfectly good plot and deserves more reads!!
Review Scores : 83/100
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