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Night Poison

Author : WhenItIsBlue

Reviewer : haefatima99

Night Poison

Cover: 6/10

I like the background image that you have on your cover and I think that it connects with the title of your book. However, I find the title in the middle quite distracting. It's too big that it's almost taking the aesthetic sense of your cover away, so make it short. Also, can you change the font of the author name? It's not very clear to your reader.

Title: 4/5

The title is unlike anything I have seen or heard before. It's poetic in its disposition and very intriguing. You have done a very stupendous job choosing this title for the story. It gives a clear picture of what the story contains, and in my opinion it's very inviting. This title gives me a chilling vibes about the book. So, wonderful job in this criteria.

Synopsis: 6/10

I really like how you penned down your synopsis. It is a bit confusing from the start, but eventually it starts to make sense. I like how you give a poetic touch to your synopsis.

But, I found that you have quite an odious sentence structure in the second paragraph.

Notice the following paragraph:

[ During a snow storm one night, Park Jimin says he has two choices to offer to me. I've never seen him before, but curiosity and something else overtake my caution and I find myself drawn to his mystery

The thing is he won't tell me what choices it is that I have to make. ]

| Edited version |

[One night, during a snow storm, Park Jimin says that he has two choices to offer me. I've never seen him before, but curiosity or something else overtakes my caution, and I find that he draws me into his mystery.

The thing is, he won't tell me what choices it is that I have to make.]

You are switching between the tenses, and sometimes missing commas for a brief pause. Edit that, and then you are good to go.

Plot: 21/30

I love the plot of your book because it screams originality, for I have never read this kind of plot before. Wonderful job!
But, the flow of your book is quite fast. While reading your book, as a reader, I find myself unable to attend the flow of your plot.

Believe me when I say that don't add irrelevant scenes, but we have to make our story quite realistic, so add some scenes or events in your plot that speaks to human nature.

Characters: 7/10

Your book revolves around two-three characters, so you definitely need to portray them directly and indirectly.

I really love that how you have portrayed Jimin's character directly in the very first chapter. But you need to work on his indirect characterization too. You can't just tell me that how he looks in his appearance. You have to show me through his actions that he is what he appears to be. Same goes for for y/n.

Grammar: 19/25

You definitely know the basics of grammar, but you need to focus on sentence formation. Because of wrong sentence structure, your grammar looks messy.

Also, there are few typos here and there that you can easily fix by editing.

Writing style: 7/10

Speaking of this criteria, I must say that you have my heart the moment you blessed me with your descriptive language. Through the usage of rich vocabulary, I can say that you hooked me up in your story.

But, be aware, sometimes you aren't using proper sentence structures in your descriptions, and that's annoying. Your reader can get tired because of your odious use of sentences.

Overall:

You are an amazing writer, but I think you need to work on your synopsis, characters, plot and grammar. Once you have several editing rounds then you will finally have a refined book in your hand. Your book is pretty short, so I think you can easily edit it.

Review Scores : 70/100

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