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Always It's You

Author : ashley_ruth

Reviewer : wuwtaetae

Always It's You

Cover: 4/10

It's a Taehyung fanfiction, so it's natural for people to expect Taehyung on the cover. The cover actually looks good but it just doesn't fit fanfiction in general. It'd do good as the cover of a poetry book maybe. Please get yourself a new cover with Taehyung's face on it if you want to gain readers on Wattpad. If I were a Taehyung fanfic reader passing by your book, I'd just skip it thinking it was some kind of an original rather than a Taehyung based fanfic. Also, even if you didn't have Taehyung on the cover, I think you should at leave have something stating that it's a fanfiction rather than just another original on Wattpad.

Title: 2/5

Not to be rude but it's just wrong, just wrong. Number one, you didn't state that it was a Taehyung fanfiction. Like I mentioned earlier, there are a lot of chances you might lose readers just because there is no proper indication that it's a fanfic rather than an original. Number two, it had a grammatical error. It should've been "Always, it's you" than "Always its you". Number three, I don't really think always fits in here, to be honest. Personally, I think you should've just left it at "It's you" than adding always. People even read based on the title, honestly and you've gotta have something more aesthetic to lure in the picky ones.

Synopsis: 7/10

Well, number one, I think part of the dialogue was redundant. Felt like you should've kept it short. It's good, that I agree with but I had to read it a couple of times for it to really hit me and get me thinking. As a reviewer, it's my job to notice everything but readers don't do that. Readers, personally, I think don't even spend a whole ten seconds reading the synopsis. They just scan over it once, read if they find it appealing, and get to another one if it doesn't intrigue them. Try to keep the synopsis short, two paragraphs may be, and add the twist in the end. You see, since it's romance, people are gonna know that it's gonna have a happy ending as 95% of romance books end happy but they're here for the drama, they're here to witness the way everything develops and falls into place so you've gotta add that tragedy element to lure the readers in. Yes, you've left it at an open ending, mentioned that he's lonely, you've mentioned the differences they have yet I just felt like it wasn't it. It was good, yes, but it could be so much better with a little effort.

Plot: 20/30

Well, it wasn't totally cliché, kudos to that but I don't think it's a very unique and special plot. Your book in general, I think, is good but it just misses the wow factor. Another thing is that they've just let Taehyung go on a vacation alone even though he's part of the global sensation BTS? Like, it doesn't make sense, honestly. I don't think that even in fiction, Bighit would be that careless to let Taehyung go to another country alone without English knowledge. You mentioned that Taehyung cannot speak English or completely understand it but when he spoke to Ashley, I noticed that he was fluent, really fluent and it doesn't make sense. If he doesn't know English properly then you should portray him speaking broken English, well, at least he shouldn't be speaking at Ashley's level.

characters: 5/10

For a start, I wouldn't be sharing my earphones with a stranger on a train. Second, I wouldn't invite a said stranger to stay at mine. Third, as a girl, I'd at least think of all the things happening in the world before even thinking of inviting a stranger to stay at mine. Ashley just shared her earphones with Taehyung without him asking, without even knowing the dude's name like how? Do you think a girl would just do that? About her inviting him to her house, he could be a predator or something related to that for all we know. You know, normally, people wait for at least a week before they even invite their friends to their homes and she just let him stay? Without knowing anything about him too. He just went there with her too, she could be a con woman or a sasaeng even. Like how? What would you do if you were in either one of their situations? Also, Taehyung doesn't seem like he cares even a little about the fact that his luggage is lost and he's alone, clueless in a country without anybody by his side. C'mon, he's in the biggest boyband in the world, how could he be so careless? It doesn't make sense. Even in fiction, make things make sense.

Grammar: 16/20

There weren't a lot of Grammer mistakes in your book but you've gotta work on the use of tenses, past tense and present tense, you change them sometimes and the proper way to do them is to keep them consistent. If there's something I've noticed, this is a problem with a lot of people, even my first book had problems with the uses of tenses but it got better with time. I'm sure yours will get better too so don't worry much. Other than that, you confuse it's and its and it's a problem. They change the meaning of the sentences. It's is the short form of it is and its shows ownership. I found small errors here and there but they weren't distracting.

Writing style: 6/10

It wasn't bad, actually but you need to work on the "show not tell" element. If there's one thing that makes an author successful it's the show not tell. I could understand what they were doing but I couldn't picture it. They were just sentences, they didn't flow together. You can make a paragraph out of seven sentences but you can make a paragraph out of just a single sentence too. Using commas and linking words makes the story flow. Try showing their feelings through their actions. Refrain from using too many exclamations and period marks. You need to work on your punctuation too.

Overall:

It wasn't the worst read but not the best either. I enjoyed it though. Damn, I'm not the best writer but I know some stuff so I hope you'll take a note of them and hopefully improve in the future. Good luck!

Review Scores : 60/100

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