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Don't make me fall for you

Author: Minhappy

Reviewer: yoonchim_Z

Don't make me fall for you

Cover: 7 /10

The font is really pretty, it matches the picture very well. I absolutely love the korean letters on the side as well, it makes the cover look very aesthetic. I would've preferred if the "BTS MIN YOONGI" isn't written there. Everything else is perfect. The only reason I'm giving you a 7 is because I don't think it suits your story theme. Your story depicts something deep, but the cover gives out a very cheerful aura.

Title: 8/10

It suits the story perfectly. I preferred if the first letters of each words were in capital (Don't Make Me Fall For You) instead of the way it is now. And I'm not a fan of long titles, it very quickly loses aesthetic points. But I don't have a problem with yours at all. And I'm loving the extra "M.YG ff" on the back.

Synopsis: 5/10

Found a few grammar mistakes in there. It's "I didn't ask you" and not "I didn't asked you". The summary already explains briefly what your plot is about, but from there readers could already guess what would happen. Clearly Yoongi and the main character would have a happy ending together, and from that the picky readers could easily lose interest and just skip over your story. Instead, try writing down a tiny teaser. Pick out the best angsty part of your entire plot and used that as your summary instead. This is the most common tactic authors use to gain readers.

Plot: 20/30

It's a bit cliche and not so original. You can find this type of stories in dramas, they are incredibly common. However, your story flow is incredibly smooth, it wasn't rushed at all. The pace goes slow and steady and I absolutely love it.

The way the main character was immediately attracted to Yoongi after he saved her was literally the term "Love at First Sight" and it's just so cliche and common. Even if his embrace was "warm", it just doesn't make any sense for her to keep thinking back about him.

At first, I didn't like the idea of 26 chapters of flashbacks, but I got so engrossed into the story that it didn't even register in my mind. You're using the tactic of pulling readers with an angsty cliffhanger, and I really like that. Good job.

Character: 8/10

Unlike most female leads, yours has a dark intention of breaking up a beautiful couple for the sake of having the guy all to herself. It's like a completely different pov, instead of seeing the usual love triangle we're seeing the view from the villain's eyes herself. It's really creative and you explained the characters' characteristics very well. Nicely done!

Grammar: 15/20

Plenty of words used are spelt incorrectly. Baekhyun is spelt as Beakhyun. It's postpone not post-pond, and she's carving for cappucino? I thought it was a spelling mistake but you used it more than twice in a row. It's "craving" not "carving". And it's careful not carefull. Your story is in the past tense, I caught some words there were in their present form. There were also several words that were used incorrectly, "on" and "onto" has completely different meanings, learn to differentiate them. Please check the meaning of the words if you're not sure about them. Google is always available.

Writing Style: 7.5/10

Your style of writing isn't something I could call perfect. Certain sentences didn't sound right in my ears, ex: "Did we even plan on to go to the night club?" should've been "Did we even plan on going to the night club?" And don't try to drag a single sentence longer than it's supposed to. Ex: She was too busy crying to feel sorry for his shirt that was already covered up with water, water which was coming from her eyes." could easily be replaced with "his shirt is soaked with her tears." Even so, I really do like your writing. You managed to explain the situations just perfectly. Reread your story, you can sense where some places sounded wrong. If by any chance you can't fix it, find another way to explain it altogether.

Overall

Your story is pretty common. But I love the plotline and the smooth pace. The cover and the title just needs tiny adjustments and it'll look perfect. Look through your work again, there were plenty of mistakes here and there that I caught. And change some sentences so that they'll sound way better in the readers' ears. I sense potential in your story, it does have simple mistakes but it deserves way more reads. Good job, keep it up!

Review Scores: 71.5/100

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