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Love And Hate

Author: Taekooker2975

Reviewer: haefatima99

Love And Hate

Cover: 7/10

I love the current cover since it is way better than the previous one. But the color of the font is quite distracting. If a background image is blue then you should have used another color for the title that isn't so dark. Try changing the font's color into something more competitive. Other than that, it is covering three basics of a good cover: an image, title, and author name.

Title: 5/5

This title goes perfectly with your plot. It is giving me enough information about the plotline. When I read the description, and find that Jungkook hates Taehyung, but Taehyung is in love with Jungkook then I completely understand the meaning behind this title. I must say that you played it safe by giving this book a simple yet matching title.

Synopsis: 4/10

A good synopsis has four traditional elements that make it a definition of perfection: characters, stakes, conflict, and setting. Speaking of your book's synopsis then it's lacking stake and setting. You only introduced characters and the main conflict of your plot. I will break down each element for you briefly so it would be helpful for you:

001. The Characters
Who is your story about? Who will the reader be spending their time with?

002. The Conflict
What is the main character facing? What will be a big dilemma in the story?

003. The Stakes
Now, this is the important part. This is the part that I find most synopsis are missing. What happens if the protagonist does not accomplish their goal? You have to tell about the consequences of their actions. 

004. Setting
Now, this might only be a word or two words in your entire summary. But it is important to let your readers know where your story takes place. Is this a real-world for your characters or an imaginary land of the supernatural?

Also, your synopsis is way too short and it's not doing justice to your story, so extend this synopsis into two to three paragraphs more.

Plot: 21/30

To be honest, your plot falls under cliché stories, but I love the fact that you tried your best to make it realistic. But a story isn't the only thing I want from you. I want excitement and that excitement is missing in your book. That spark can be your plot development since you are running with your plot. It would have been a lot better if you take things between Jungkook and Taehyung slow in start. But you are taking things way too fast and that's why I am unable to relate to any scene of your plot. It was like I was reading a book with no aesthetics sense in it.

A quick tip: When you will search on Google, "Important stages of plot", then you will find five basic stages of a plot: exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, and resolution. I am not saying that you should be perfect, but I don't want to see your talent faded away just because of a lack of guidance.

Characters: 5/10

I hate to admit that but as much as I loved the concept of your story. I could barely see your characters developing in front of me. It's like there is no empathy involved from your side. Why are you rushing so much on both main male leads? Please, give them proper development.

I want to see Jungkook more in hatred with Taehyung. I want to see Taehyung suffering because of this hate. I want to feel their feelings, darling. I want to live their moment, but you are rushing a lot on these two characters. So make their personalities more deep. Give them a proper characterization.

Grammar: 14/25

Your grammar needs work too. It is riddled with common grammatical errors like the wrong usage of ellipses, inconsistent tenses, dialogue tags, and punctuations. I am giving you some examples from your book so note them down, and work on them. Notice the following example:

-'["So, umm..you want anything to eat or drink?"]

There are three dots in ellipses. But you are using two at someplace or overusing them. Please don't do that (.......) because it's grammatically incorrect.

I noticed that you are switching between tenses as well. Please keep your tense consistent in a story. Notice the following example from your book:

- [ While scrolling a certain question caught his attention, he wasn't sure if he can answer that. It might create problems for him but he needs to say it at some point. ]

he wasn't sure = Past tense
he needs to say = Present tense

Be careful with their usage as tenses could often confuse you.

When dialogue is followed by anything like, "they said", "he asked" or anything like it. Use a comma or required punctuation before closing the quotation. Notice the following example from your book:

- ["Mmm, I am gonna answer one last question before I end the live cause am starting to get tired" he stated with a smile.]

You aren't using any punctuation before you close the quotation and that's quite distracting. So apply the above rule of verbal tag here, and use the comma.

Edited version:

["Mmm, I am gonna answer one last question before I end the live cause I am starting to get tired, " he stated with a smile.]

These are a few examples from your book. I hope it helps.

Writing style: 5/10

Your book is lacking description language, darling. I guessed that's the reason for me not being able to relate to your characters, and the story. Your way of storytelling is too plain, and that's not what a reader asks for.

Use descriptive language by using Sensory imagery. To put it simply, use your five senses to draw images in the mind of your reader. Using pictures for reference is okay as long as you don't rely on them wholly. I noticed you used different pictures of Taehyung and Jungkook in the book. Instead of using those pictures, and attaching them here. You can use words to explain how they look.

Also, stop using so many exclamation marks because it's not right grammatically. Use only one exclamation mark, and that's enough.

Overall:

You need to work in almost each criteria other than the title. I loved how you have been paying attention to your readers and that's a wonderful job you are doing. If you are able to improve your descriptive language then your plot will be more good including characters. Don't get discouraged by my review, and feel free to question me if something is confusing you.

Review Scores : 61/100

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