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His Wicked Betrayal

Author - jjkluvskthvk

Reviewer - kimvante_

His Wicked Betrayal

Cover - 1/10

In my opinion, I find the cover really unappealing. It's very overcrowded and it's impossible to make out stuff return on the top. The lights reflecting on the character's faces do not match with the background at all. I suggest you remove the background and keep it black AND choose another picture of taekook. There are many pictures of them together so I suggest you chose from them rather than combining two photos of them because it's really a sore thumb. Also, it isn't necessary for the cover to contain a wolf or a moon to represent it as a wolf's au. The font used for writing the book title doesn't look good as well.

Title - 2.5/5

The title does not seem pertinent to the story. Even the previous one wasn't pertinent tho I'm glad you changed it because it did not match the plot even one bit. This recent one doesn't seem to match as well but I'm getting a feeling that at the end or maybe in the middle some sort of betrayal is gonna happen? I really don't know how the title matches with the story judging from the chapters I've read till now but I hope it matches later. If not, then I suggest you change the title to something more better. You can find attractive ones if you search for one that matches the entire vibe of the story.

Synopsis - 4/10

Okay, so the synopsis can be a lot more better in my opinion. Sure it leaves a mystery to the readers about what will happen after Taehyung rejects Jungkook but it also makes it sound like a typical cliché plotline. I've read quite a few fics where one mate rejects the other and in the end, they get together so it's really obvious to make out the end. Even though the story might have a different ending, no one will continue reading due to the very short and obvious synopsis. Try to add some depth to the synopsis. Also, the last dialogue, "I missed you my mate!..." was really uncalled for. It makes the book look sort of cringy.

Plot - 20/30

In my opinion, the plot is odd. As I said previously, I've read quite a few fics with the same plot (as in the rejection kind of) but I can see that the storyline is sort of different. Not rare or unique but obviously different. Many fanfics match each other in some way but the only thing that differentiates your plot from theirs is how you present it.

Character - 6/10

The characters in the story were obvious. Having all BTS members is not bad and you've also added a few new characters which is a good thing. I hoped that you had changed the personalities of the boys into something more unique and rare but Jungkook is the same arrogant jerk as in those cliché fics. The rest of the members don't have any changes in their personality too, they are somewhat portrayed just like how they are in real life.

Grammar - 24/25

A story is only appealing to read when the writing style and grammar are perfect or at least readable, yours contained both. I really liked the descriptions you pinned down here and there about each and everything. The flow of the story was smooth which made it even better to read without any interruptions. There were a few spelling mistakes detected as well as an absence of colons and semi-colons.

Writing style - 8/10

The writing style was as same as how other books have so it was not a problem. The paragraphs were actually too short. I suggest that instead of writing 2-3 lines, add in 4-6 lines in each para. I see the style improving in the next chapters but please fix the first few chapters. The transitions from one scene to another were sleek too.

Overall:

Overall, the story can be much more extraordinary and interesting. The story is so much better when you start reading it but due to the cover and synopsis, it's really unattractive. I think you can score full if you consider the following points I mentioned above, especially for the cover and synopsis and the title too. The main thing that I liked about your story was the descriptive writing as well as the writing style. I would suggest this story to those who are interested in the genre fantasy with a sprinkle of mystery and angst and maybe romance. I hope my judging was fair enough. :)

TOTAL = 65.5/100

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