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Cursed Wish

Author Irtiza_yesmeen

Reviewer : sprite_and_hamburger

CURSED WISH

Cover - 5/10

If I am being honest, I don't like the cover at all. It wasn't attractive, it looks like a photo, not a cover. The pic you used as cover didn't go well with your story plot. The font is just too plain.

Title - 3/5

I don't think the title is best for this book, cause the way you wrote the book wasn't focused on 'cursed wish', so in my opinion, the title isn't suitable but if you changed your plot a little bit then the title is perfect for it.

Synopsis - 6/10

The info and dialogue present there is good. You used the center writing system which looks really messy here, try to use the left or right system, and if you don't want to then leave some space between dialogues and sentences.

"She lived some of year peacefully" add an article 'the' before year or remove 'of', without it, this sentence seems off.
In the last line in the description, leave some space after the question mark.
"What his wish concludes to?.............That Curse Wish"
It will look good.

Plot - 10/30

The Idea of the story is really good but the execution and outline of the story are bad. There are many plotholes and the whole plotline is really messy tbh. Some scenes seem force in the plot. It feels like you are adding too many plots in one go which resulted in messier.
'Jungkook and Yianna know each other since childhood'
'Jungkook was a player and she wasn't like other girls'
'her life is miserable and Jungkook parents died already', and then there we have a second lead. Too much happening in a short story.
I suggest trying to focus on one thing at a time. I noticed you are passionate about writing, it will be good if you use this as your advantage. You need to clear your plot first, you don't need to put many things in one story. Go slow and go with one plot.
In one scene Yianna said she said she didn't know Nam jee Hyuk and she didn't even know he was her classmate but further scene she said she knew he was a swimmer?

Character - 5/10

The character seems off to me, their emotions weren't real. They are unexpected in many scenes. Yianna was in depression and suddenly she felt all confident and act rudely towards Jungkook for no reason. As she already stated she loves him and then she goes all bratty and rude, didn't she already know about him and his nature?
Jungkook has no recollection about Yianna but when he saw the pic he suddenly remembered everything and he even found her pic?

Grammar - 12/25

The Grammar of the story is bad. Some dialogues didn't make sense. There were plenty of grammar and spelling mistakes. Punctuation marks were missing or misplaced.
I noticed you have a major problem with articles, almost every time they were misplaced or wrongly used. Vocabulary isn't good either in the book.
You need to understand the difference between THERE and THEIR,
TO and TOO. These words sound the same but their meanings are totally different and if we use an incorrect one then our sentence meaning will change.
An exclamation mark (!) Is used when we want to highlight or emphasize  that word or sentence. You used it too many times even if that sentence isn't important.

Writing style - 4/10

As I said already the execution of the story wasn't a great one. One thing I want to point out is your paragraph are way too long and sometimes you wrote almost 500 words in one go. If I wasn't reviewing then I would have skipped that part as a reader surely. I read thousands of books and I can say that no one likes a long paragraph. Add some space between them cause short paragraphs are easy to read and we don't lose focus while reading.
'Wanna', 'Gonna', 'Kinda', etc. these are slang words and we used them when we are in a chill mood or having a casual conversation, we don't use them in serious matters. You used them in rape scenes which is ridiculous to me.

Overall:

You have a great plot 'cursed wish' is a great one so I suggest focusing on that only. You can highlight her miserable life or anything but please don't put too much in one story or if you want to put all of it then you have to execute it accordingly. Describe one situation or one scene this way you can avoid confusion. Your story needs editing, you can find many editing shops in Wattpad. You can also use the Grammarly app to avoid grammar mistakes. You have great potential for writing you just have to improve a bit and you will become a great author.

Review Scores : 45/100

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