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His Virgin

Author: xerophthalmia

Reviewer: jjkluvskthvk

His Virgin

Cover (6/10)

I really liked your cover; it truly is an appealing work of art, especially with the fonts and the color scheme! It had just the right amount of simplicity with a mixture of aesthetic features. However, while your cover is beautiful, I found that it had no connection to your story. Your book is about a ‘virgin’ girl who meets this bad boy and while she loses herself in the process, she still falls for him. In your cover, while you have used Taehyung, which is somewhat relevant to the story, he looks rather innocent, if you ask me. I would advise you to use both characters, Taehyung and the protagonist, in the cover and try to use an edit of Taehyung in which he does seem like a ‘bad boy’.

Title (2/5)

What you did with your cover, you have done the opposite with your title. While your title gives an insight into what the story may be about, it does not really catch the reader’s attention. In my opinion, ‘His Virgin’ does not have the pull that is required for someone to be really excited about reading your book. If I’m being honest, your title is too weak and does require more imagination and unique wording.

Synopsis (7/10)

Your blurb is interesting however, it reveals too much about your plot regardless of it being short. A synopsis is like a window, something that gives a glimpse of the actual story. If you write everything in your description, it would not really invite the readers to read your book further. Other than that, everything else was perfect. I especially loved the way you introduced both your main characters in your description so the readers at least have an idea of who the book may be about. I also loved how you used a quote from the book at the start of the synopsis; it not only attracts the readers but also gives a little touch to the story.

Plot (22/30)

I really enjoyed reading your book, especially since I love high school/college AU stories. However, while you have stated that your story is not a cliché, which is true since it is not your typical romance story, you need to realize that the bad boy/innocent girl concept is overused in fanfictions, or any other fiction, for that matter. The story about a girl who hasn’t even had her first kiss yet meets a boy who is one of those popular, cool kids and just happens to be a bad boy too. Somewhere along the way, the boy ruins her innocence but even then, she falls for him. I have seen this in many fanfics and even still, I read them. As a reader, I may love these kinds of books but as a reviewer, I would prefer reading books with more unique concepts. Nevertheless, saying your plot is awesome would be an understatement. Not only are your scenes well transitioned, but they aren’t rushed and also match your book’s genre.

Characters (7/10)

Like I mentioned already, your character concepts are cliché. This is the case, especially for Eun, your main protagonist. While her character development is well-paced and her personality is well described, she just happens to be one of those girls who falls for the guy at first sight. Taehyung hadn’t even been introduced properly and she was already calling him “hot”. But thank god, you didn’t make her act on her spiraling feelings; I mean, it’s a good thing that you didn’t make Eun jump on him at first sight. While she did have confusing thoughts about him, you didn’t rush their relationship. Taehyung, on the other hand, was your typical bad boy but I loved the way you made him a little wise. In chapter 2, Eun asked if they should pay back the girl who was talking bad about Jungkook, but Taehyung said that they shouldn’t stoop to her level. He may be one of those boys but at least he knows how to be moral.

Grammar (24/25)

I read most of the chapters but rarely found any grammar mistakes. You have also kept to present tense and did not jumble in other tenses. I know from experience that writing in the present tense is very hard, especially when you are tempted to write in the past tense. However, you have done nothing of the sort, so well done. I would like to say though that even if you didn’t have any grammar mistakes, you did have a few punctuation errors, especially near the dialogue. One of your mistakes was that you forgot to put a comma before a name in the dialogue. For example here: “You’re not funny Taehyung,”. It is supposed to be “You’re not funny, Taehyung,”. Think of it as taking a small pause before saying the name. Other than that, your punctuation was perfect.

Writing style (9/10)

I’m in love with your writing style. The way you have set out your paragraphs and kept them short makes them easy to follow and not too boring to read. I have seen so many authors put in their dialogue at the end or in the middle of the paragraph when they are supposed to go on a new line. This not only confuses the readers, making them want to skip reading but also isn’t the correct style. The type of writing style you have used is not really unique since many people write similarly but with your structuring and choice of words, they evoke the required emotions from the readers and also conveys the exact meaning. Your vocab is spot on; you use unique and a variety of words to describe a situation or a person and don’t use the same, plain words every time.

Overall
An overall, I really enjoyed the book and would want to continue reading it, even though it is outside the context of the books that I usually read. I’m not much a fan of ongoing books because I don’t have the type of patience in me to actually wait for the next chapter, but once you have completed your book, I would definitely give it a go. Not going to lie, but the starting of your book gave me strong “After” vibes, mainly the scene where Taehyung caught Eun half-naked and I am going, to be honest, I actually found that hilarious. But when I continued reading, it was definitely not the same for many reasons. Anyway, I hope my review helped you, and good luck with your next chapter!

Total Points: 77/100

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