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Books

Author :: izzah_fiza

Reviewer :: Minkittystan

BOOKS

Cover :: 6/10

It’s way too simple, but it’s clear at the same time. You could’ve used a meaningful quote right there. I’m totally in love with the picture you used by the way. The color matches perfectly with the theme of the book you’re trying to show us here. Just add a quote if you want. Nothing more.

Title :: 2/5

The title is way too short. To be honest, when I first read the title, I was like ‘Is this a oneshot book?’ Sorry about my first impression, don’t mind it. But as I read the description, it did make more sense.

Synopsis :: 4/10

Is that a quote or a line from the book? But whatever it is, it’s really eye-catching. I’d still say that the description is a bit too short. It exposes the story too much. Like I know what might happen just by reading the first line of your description. It’s a bit too... revealing I guess.

Plot :: 25/30

The pace of the book is quite slow yet I feel like it’s fast. The plot has a tiny bit of cringe in it but I don’t mind it since there's very little ahahah. Everything was relevant, it's just a bit confusing, especially when it's jumping from one scene to another but it didn’t affect anything too much. I didn’t have a single problem reading the books’ inside thoughts. I loved how you used italic to show the inside thoughts.

Character :: 7/10

I felt every bit of your book. In fact, I’ve witnessed some relevant parts in your book. Wait... did we ever meet? Lol, not possible. Not saying 100% that we didn’t meet, did I? Okay, back to this. The emotions, reactions were perfectly read out. I loved both of their personalities equally. They both felt realistic to me.

Grammar :: 16/25

I wouldn’t say I didn’t find any major errors but.. there were some points where I did find major errors. An example is given below,

[‘He still look the same,’ Y/n thought silently; her e/c eyes were still stuck on the tall figure before her. There was not a single change on that guy. He still look stunning; just like before.]

Whereas I’ve fixed the paragraph for you down below,

[‘He still looks the same,’ Y/n thought silently, her e/c eyes were still stuck on the tall figure before her. There was not a single change in that guy. He still looks stunning, just like before.]

The major error I found was you used the semi-colon mark too many times and placed it where it isn’t necessary.

Semi-colons are used instead of ‘and’, where else you used it where commas are supposed to be. Your use of commas is rare when it should be used. Some points are deducted for grammatical problems such as adding the ‘s’ and some missing exclamation marks.

I’ve found some misuse of verbs,

[“I forgot my phone, so I turn back home and rushed here right after I get it,” Y/n lied as she faked a smile at Namjoon. The raven haired boy just nodded slowly and hummed.]

This is what it should’ve been,

[“I forgot my phone, so I went back home and rushed here right after I got it,” Y/n lied as she faked a smile towards Namjoon. The raven haired boy just nodded slowly and hummed in response, returning a small smile.]

I’ve added a bit to the ending of this paragraph to make it more realistic. You can use it or leave it. But you need to look closely at the change of verb where I used ‘went’ rather than ‘turn’. The sentence makes more sense and is less confusing.

This paragraph caught my attention the most.

[“It’s okay,” Namjoon just flashed a sweet grin to the girl. “I was worried actually. I think you just got into some trouble before you reach here. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if something happen to you,” Namjoon exclaimed; causing Y/n to blush hard.]

This is the right form of how it should be,

[“It’s okay,” Namjoon flashed a sweet grin at the girl. “I was actually worried. I thought you got into some trouble before you reached here. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if something happened to you,” Namjoon said, causing Y/n to blush hard.]

There were a few corrections I made with the verbs and Namjoon didn’t exclaim the whole sentence, did he? He just confessed his small thoughts of what could’ve happened. There were a lot of points where I found misplaced prepositions. Instead of ‘at’ you’d always use ‘to’.

I highly recommend you hire an editor and fix those mistakes. You know what? Everyone has mistakes and flaws, just keep trying again and again!

Writing style :: 6/10

Your choice of words was simple but it was unique at the same time. The dialogues are nothing but perfect. I really love each and every dialogue but sometimes the grammar caused me to read it two times. It’s all good. I love how you bolded Namjoon’s every speech when he was with Y/n. It made his sentence stand out.

Overall ::
I read your whole book. But as it’s ongoing, I’ll continue reading it. Your little talks at the end of the chapter were very friendly. Your little acts with other members which I love and do myself made me laugh. I felt that the story brought me to ‘House of Army’. The part where Namjoon opened the box ahahahah. Anyways, hope you liked my review sweetie. Have a good day/night.

Total: 66/100

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