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Play another tune let me clap

Author: PLUM_PUDDING_STORIES

Reviewer : yoonchim_Z

Play another tune let me clap

Cover: 8/10

I absolutely love it!! It matches the halloween theme so well!! And you have an eye for choosing the perfect colours to go together, pink and grey? Who would've known? The only problems I find are the cursive letters beneath the "your in for a", I'm guessing that it is 'scare'? Please use bolder fonts, this specific font type is hard to see. And it's "You're" not "Your". The pink tag is especially cute and aesthetic. But I'm guessing you forgot about your username change?

Title: 4/10

It's a bit long... I'm not a fan of long titles. So unfortunately it doesn't pull me in immediately. I would've preferred "Play Another Tune // K.TH" so that Armys will know their babyboy is in there. Ignoring the synopsis and the cover where you can't really see Taehyung, if the readers are judging based on your title they wouldn't feel attracted enough to read it, and you'll lose some Armys that may definitely love your story.

Synopsis: 5/10

The emojis... remove the emojis please. It looks childish. There are a few grammar mistakes here and there, and it's "happiness" not "hapiness". And replace the sentence "Yes it's the halloween" to something deeper that could touch readers like "on the beautiful night of halloween" From there we could tell just how beautiful you could write. Use deeper meaning words, fix up those grammar mistakes and you're good to go.

Plot: 1/30

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to read about... there's really only one chapter and it's extremely short, I barely scrolled to reach the bottom. I don't think it could even count as a short story/oneshot, it's more like a draft for one part of a chapter. Now I went into it with an optimistic mind, but there's barely anything to read! Your story only consists of: 1.Taehyung walking home in the rain. 2. He felt like playing the piano after a movie. 3. An 'empty' clap is heard. There's no plot, no building of suspension, the ending scene which was supposed to be scary didn't move me in the slightest. I acknowledge that it's one of those Halloween shorts, but could this even be counted as one? Don't rush to get to the end, take it slow. You could add that something has been bugging him all morning but he chooses to ignore it. Please add more story to this, I don't find it interesting in the slightest.

Character: 0/10

There's nothing to judge. Taehyung is the only character in the story, and he didn't give out any sort of aura. I know absolutely nothing about him, therefore I can't give you any marks for this.

Grammar: 4/20

Punctuations, please fix those! You stuffed everything into one single sentence, and one long paragraph only consists of 1-2 sentences. You didn't add full stops and comas, and it made the story move very very fast. A single sentence of yours are like three sentences combined together. It affects the story a lot.

Writing Style: 2/10

I'm not a fan of your writing style. It's too fast paced and again, the punctuations are a problem. You spelt a couple of words wrongly, (gray-grey) (Your-You're) There are no emotions placed down, it looked like you were writing a last minute homework and sent it in without checking for any mistakes. Were you rushing to get to the end because the thought of ending it with Taehyung running away is exciting? It's not exciting unless you actually. Have. Plot!

Overall

I'm sorry, I didn't enjoy it. First fix those tiny mistakes regarding the cover and the synopsis. Then plan out your story, add in more interesting details because the whole thing is bland. Even short stories and oneshots should have a specific plot/plot twist that shines out and is carved into a reader's mind forever after reading the book. And hire an editor to fix those spelling and punctuation mistakes, I'm not lying when I say it affects the story a lot. Your story has a potential to shine if these mistakes are fixed, don't waste that chance. Don't take anything I say to heart either, I respect you for trying your best, I really hope my suggestions and tips get to you.

Review Scores : 24/100

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