A Splash Of Paint (MCYT Oneshots)

[R] Always Temporary (Ranboo & Niki)

(A/N: request as a pic. aha I'm so (not) sorry for the angst here. Warnings: suicidal & mentally unwell character as a whole. lots of angst here. read at your own caution.)

The destruction was glorious.

Ranboo smiled brightly and widely at the destruction of one of his very first creations. It was yet another memory lost to time and tear, just like all of his other memories.

After all, who would care about protecting their memories when they would all disappear anyways? Certainly not him.

One by one, they kept slipping from his desperate mind. His childhood home, his parents' faces, his childhood memories — hell, even the memory of how the land used to look like? All gone, just like that! And he was done trying to get them back. Why bother fighting in a battle that he would always lose? Ranboo was smarter than that.

"Ranboo," a teary gasp from behind made him remember (he's already forgetting, everything just keeps slipping by, let him remember let him remember-) that there was someone else in the room with him.

"Niki!" he exclaimed, turning around. His older sister was staring at him in horror. "I... I forgot you were here."

"What did you do?!" she whisper-screamed, taking a step forwards. "Ranboo, you promised!"

"Did I?" he cocked his head to the side. "I... I'm not sure I did. Are you trying to lie to me again? Because I won't fall for it again. I didn't promise anything."

Niki sniffled. "You really don't remember?"

"No," Ranboo replied, truthfully and shortly, because it was true. He never remembered anything. It was why he blew up Manburg, after all. L'manburg had become a memory, and memories always slipped through his mind like sand. He was just making sure it wouldn't hurt him more than it should.

Niki took another step forwards. "I... Ranboo, please."

And then Ranboo remembered. Or at least, he remembered why he had done this.

His hands fell to his sides as he reached up to clutch his head. Tears started falling down, and he ignored the pain that they brought when they appeared. He was fine, he was used to this, things would be okay-

Who was he kidding? It was all his fault. He did this. Even if he didn't remember how he got to this point in the first place, he still did this. He needed to be punished. He needed to die.

"Kill me."

"...what?"

"Kill me, Niki," he repeated. "Please, just kill me already. End all this fighting. I don't- I don't want people to fight anymore. I don't want them to take sides anymore."

Niki tried to protest when Ranboo handed her his sword, which he thought was silly, because he deserved to die. "Ranboo, no, it's- it will be okay. Just come with me and-"

"Look at them!" Ranboo gestured to all the onlookers. In the distance, he thought he could spot Tubbo, Eret, and Fundy among the group of people who had stopped to glance at them, even if Fundy was holding a bunch of wither skulls on him, and Eret and Tubbo were both armourless after dying. "Look! They all want you to! They know what I've done, even if- even if I don't! I deserve it, so come on, Niki! Just kill me already!"

"You're my brother!" Niki screamed back, tears streaming down her eyes now. "I can't- I can't just kill you, Ranboo!"

"Ni-kill! Kill-ki!" Ranboo continued. "Come on! They all want you to kill me, and I want you to kill me too! Out of everyone, you deserve to punish me the most! Please, Niki, do it for me."

Niki looked at the sword. Then back at him. Ranboo tried to smile encouragingly, because he knew that Niki had always been more of a pacifist than a fighter. But really, Ranboo didn't think there would be anyone else more deserving to kill him, because after all, he was pretty sure that out of everyone, he had caused Niki the most hurt. So that's why she got to have her revenge: by killing him!

"It's okay, Niki," he said. "I trust you."

With a choked sob, Niki drove it through his chest. It hurt way less than Ranboo was actually expecting it to be. Or maybe it was just him, forgetting how to feel pain, just like how he forgot everything else.

"Thank you, Niki," Ranboo murmured, already feeling himself becoming weaker. "I love you."

He soon blacked out, never to awaken again, as Niki screamed to the skies.