Breaking promises

37. Forgiveness

"I never really had a country side to go to," Seb spoke, while we were sitting on the bench outside and cooking sausages on the grill. "My parents, they thought that I should be proud about wealth and in a way I am, but then again, I haven't experienced the things that you have."

He looked at me sadly and continued "my family? They were almost never around. I considered my babysitter Rita more like my mother, than my actual mom. My only friends were gold-diggers and all of my "girlfriends"," he shook his head ," they also were gold-diggers. And they only liked my looks and money, but you..."

I froze, once I realized where this was going.

"Seb..." I shook my head at him, but he took my hand and continued.

"You're different. You never once fell to my charms and looks. You didn't even care that I was rich. Impressing you was the most difficult thing that I've done. When your brother first introduced us and you looked at me, like I was going to do something bad to you, I wanted to get to know you better. And you never wanted to talk to me and you always avoided me," he laughed at the last sentence. "I always found ways how to spend time with you, even if it was for short periods of time."

"That's why I started to take all of those girls. I wanted a reaction out of you, but you were always indifferent. Why are you like this? What made you this way?"

I looked at him after his speech with wide eyes and saw him expecting something. Wait! He asked me something, didn't he?

"Erm... I've always been like this. My friends basically adopted me, I wasn't the one who started talking with them, they kinda forced me. And I'm kinda grateful that they did, because they're the greatest friends I could imagine."

"And you? I was just overprotective of my dumb brother. He always chose the worst friends and I thought that you'd be just like them," I shrugged.

Seb looked down at his feet and nodded his head. He then stood up and took the cooked sausages off the heat.

"Hungry?" He asked me, offering a sausage on a fork.

"Stupid?" I asked and narrowed my eyes at him, at which he started to laugh.

"Damn, I was just trying to be nice," he laughed at me.

"We literally started cooking these things, because I was desperate to eat," I rolled my eyes.

"Ok, eat something, before you rip out my throat. I still want to live," he laughed.

"Don't worry, I'll rip out your ballsack instead of your throat, if you don't stop laughing at me!"

He smirked and threw his hands up in surrender. "Sorry."

The air was becoming chilly and the warmth of the fireplace was the only thing that was keeping me warm. I knew that soon I'd start shivering and would have to go inside to look for something warmer to wear.

I looked at the beautiful twilight and sighed happily. I really missed this.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Seb sighed with me looking around and taking deep breaths of the pure air.

"Yeah, I really missed this. I never thought that I'd say this," I looked up to Seb, to see him curiously looking at me expecting me to say something bad probably, "I'm happy that my brother made us come here. I really needed a break from all of the stress the city was providing me with everyday."

He nodded his head with a small smile playing on his lips. "I'm glad to hear this."

Everything was slowly turning dark and the fire cast a shadow on the left side of his face. He looked so calm and happy. I felt the same way, which is a miracle, knowing that I feel hurt towards him.

Maybe I can just move forward and stop looking at the past, just like Jonah said. It would be really easy, if I didn't have to concentrate all the time to hate someone, who I don't have energy to hate anymore.

"Seb?" I asked looking at him.

He closed his eyes and hummed.

"I forgive you," I muttered watching his reaction.

He immediately opened his eyes and looked at me worried. "Are you kidding? Please don't punish me this way, I don't want you to crush my hope."

Ironic, huh?

"You should know that I'd never stoop so low." His eyes filled with so much happiness I thought that he'd start crying at that moment.

"But..." I began and his happiness wiped off as quickly as it had appeared and his eyes were filled with angst instead. He tensed up and straightened his back.

"But?"

"I forgive, but never forget. I'm gonna stop hating you, but I'll have a hard time trusting you."

He relaxed and I saw him slump down on the bench.

"Can I hug you?" He asked me and he seemed like he could start jumping up and down in happiness.

I nodded my head and he immediately crushed me into his chest and snuggled his nose into my air, taking a deep breath. "I've missed you so much. I'm so sorry, for the pain I've caused you. I'll never hurt you again, seeing you sad was killing me inside."

I wrapped my arms around him and sighed. "Please don't hurt me again."

"I promise."

I felt warm in his arms and we spent a while wrapped in each other's embraces. In the little amount of time we spent with each other, the birds stopped chirping and the grasshoppers started singing, indicating that the night had come.

I felt too comfortable in his arms and realized how much I've needed this all this time- just comforting silence, with no worries and someone to soothe me. It gets tiring to act tough all the time.

"I don't want to let you go," Seb muttered In my hair.

"I don't want to either," I grumbled Into his shirt. "Has anyone ever told you that your hugs are nice?"

Seb chuckled and shook his head, when he realized that I didn't see that. "No. You're the first."

"Let's just stay here for the rest of our lives," Seb sighed happily.

I nodded and snuggled further into his arms.