Breaking promises

80. Making mistakes

"We should really return there, when there's nobody there but us and the weathers warmer," Blake chuckled dragging our bags into my room.

I was zoning out all of the time, thinking about letting him go. He has been the best thing that has ever happened to me, life without him is going to be hell.

But I'll get used to the pain. I always do.

"We need to talk," I finally managed to say, gaining Blake's attention.

He nodded and took a seat on my bed. I kept standing, as I didn't want to change my mind, feeling him next to me.

"I know why you're with me," I said and he raised his eyebrow.

"Ok..." he said, expecting me to continue.

"I'm sorry," I muttered. "You might think that you like me, but you actually don't. I'm just a charity case to you, maybe once you see me less helpless, you'll finally realize, that you don't need me. You deserve someone so much better. You deserve someone who you don't have to wait for, who you don't have to help to heal. I'm damaged goods, so I think that it would be best for both of us to separate."

There was silence in the room and he wasn't clearly expecting me to say that. I didn't dare to look into his eyes, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, that I've wasted your time."

Tears were threatening to spill, but I bit my cheeks to step them from flowing out of my eyes.

"Not happening," Blake finally said, causing me to look up at him.

"What?" I squeaked.

"I said, not fucking happening," he said angrily. "Is this because of Sebastian?"

He asked and I ignored him. It kinda was, but mostly because I realized that I can't be selfish with him.

"No," I shook my head. "I just can't be selfish with you."

"Why can't you be selfish with me?" He asked me and stood up, walking straight towards me. "Why do you feel like letting me go is the answer?"

He took me in his arms and I tried to wiggle out of them, already feeling like he is making me change my mind.

"Why do you feel like you can't be selfish with me?" He repeated firmer this time.

"Because I love you, ok!" I shouted and finally managed to wiggle out of his hold, as he was too shocked to realize, that he still has to hold me. "I fucking love you, I don't know when that happened, but I know that I can't be selfish with you."

He remained silent and I was too afraid to look into his eyes. "I'm sorry, I can't do this."

With that I left my room and rushed downstairs to take my jacket and put on my boots. I rushed out of the house, into the cold streets and continued running. I didn't know where I was running, but I didn't care.

I had been running for a while now, when tears started spilling. This is it, isn't it? I will have to return to my miserable self and seeing him in my school is going to be torture.

I looked around the neighborhood and realized that I've found myself somewhere near Caroline's house. I ran towards her house and frantically knocked on the door.

"Hailey?" Damien opened the door and welcomed me in with a frown on his face.

"Hailey?" Caroline asked seeing me, "What are you doing here?"

"Can I stay here?" I asked her and she nodded her head.

"I'm just going to go," Damien muttered, leaving the house, but not before kissing Caroline and muttering something to her.