Breaking promises

88. No emotions

When we finally got home, Blake quickly walked out of the car and opened the door for me like always. I always blush at this gesture and this somehow aways entertains Blake.

He led me to his house and there was my favorite chocolate cake and my favorite ice cream. He told me that he knew that I wouldn't like him spending even more money on me, so he kept it as simple as he could. And my heart was shaking with love. I loved him so much, that I started kissing him and one thing led to another and I had the best night of my life.

I thought that I couldn't love him even more, but he proved me wrong. He kept in mind that I was a virgin and was gentle towards me. Afterwards we snuggled together and he whispered sweet nothings in my ears, soothing me to go to sleep. He told me that he loves me and nothing in the world could change that and told me countless of times that I was his and nothing in the fucking world could stop him from being with me.

How I wish to say that that wasn't a shitty lie.

But nevertheless, that was the highest point of my life and from then on everything just feel apart.

I woke up the next morning and saw that the bed was empty. This was not how I had imagined waking up, but I didn't jump to conclusions, because who knows, maybe he had something important to do.

I checked the clock on the nightstand and saw that it showed 7 am and wondered what could he be doing this early.

'Maybe he is planning a surprise for me on Valentine's Day,' a voice in my head exclaimed hopefully.

Maybe.

I shrugged off the covers and saw that I was still naked, so I quickly picked up Blake's shirt, that was laying on the ground, and put it on. It felt perfect on me, as it covered everything that needed to be covered.

I padded along the long hallways and noticed that it seemed pretty cold inside. I hugged myself to try to keep in the warmth, but it didn't help. I noticed that the front door was open, so I rushed downstairs and was about to close it, when I noticed a slumped figure sitting on the porch and surrounded by a cloud of smoke.

"Blake?" I called out, but he didn't even spare me a look. "I didn't know that you have started smoking again."

I sat down next to him and he took another puff. "I usually didn't," he replied coldly. "Only when I'm stressed."

This immediately made me worried about him, so I wanted to take his hand, but he shook mine off.

Something was definitely wrong.

"We need to talk," he finally made out and dropped the cigarette, putting it out with his shoe.

"Okay," I said hesitantly, expecting him to continue.

"Last night I realized something. What I felt for you hadn't been love, it was mere lust. I'm sorry that I led you on for such a long time, but nothing can change it now," he said, without even looking at me.

This was like a kick to my stomach. Everything has been so good, how can it all change in just one night?

"I don't believe this shit," I grumbled out and he finally spared me a glance.

At first I thought that it was proud, but it quickly turned to one of annoyance and his next words crushed down everything that I ever thought was pure between us.

"How naive can you be thinking that a guy, that first saw you in a sexy underwear is going after you, because he loves you. I got what I wanted and now i can move on forward with my life," he snapped and it broke my heart.

He doesn't love me.

He doesn't love me.

He has never loved me.

I abruptly stood up and turned him my back, feeling the tears slipping out of my eyes. This is just like with Seb. Nobody wants me. And nobody can love someone like me.

"I'm going to pack my bags," I whispered and walked away, feeling the sobs threatening to break out of me.

I hoped that he would somehow rush after me, just like guys do in all those romantic movies and he'll finally realize that he loves me, but the truth is, maybe I was really naive.

What kind of guy falls in love with a girl on his first glance? What kind of guy has to make his life mission to make a girl, that he doesn't even know, his?

I still felt like I loved him. He had broken my heart, but I couldn't help but to still feel something towards him. I loved the way he used to make me feel and despite his harsh words, I knew that if he asked me to, I'd come rushing back into his arms.

So I formed a plan in my head and quickly packed my bags, trying to not leave anything behind. The pendant on my neck suddenly felt like it weighed a hundred tons and was suffocating me. I took it off with tears in my eyes and left it on the bed alongside the dress and heels.

I knew that he would never need these things, but I could never take them with me, knowing that he is behind these gifts.

I quietly walked out in the hallway and noticed that one of the bedroom doors was opened and I heard a shower running. This was exactly what I wanted. An opportunity to leave the house without his knowledge.

I walked away with my bags on my shoulders and hitched a ride to the port. And from there I used the money that I had planned to spend on souvenirs and went to the airport, hitching many other rides. Once I was on the plane, I realized that I had forgotten my phone and had no way of informing my friends that I had landed. I waited until the lady next to me was asleep and then let the tears just fall down my face.