Breaking promises

96. Plans for the future

"Thank you for being here for me," I hugged my friends as they planned to go home.

"Always," Caroline muttered and they all smiled and left me with Blake.

I looked at him and he turned his attention towards me and crossed his arms over his chest.

"You too," I said and pointed my gaze to the door. "Go home, sleep, shower and shave. I'll be fine without you."

"No," he simply said and looked at me straight in the eyes.

"I'm staying here for as long as you're," he said and I rolled my eyes.

"Listen, I know that you feel responsible about what happened to me, that guy explained that me being stabbed would be the perfect revenge for him, but I can't bare to see you like this," I begged him again, "go home."

"Responsible?" He scoffed. "Do you really think that I'm here only because I feel responsible about this?"

I looked at him, expecting him to say something else, but it was like he thought that the explanation is obvious.

Blake sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "We need to talk."

"We can do it after you've slept," I tried once again and he glared at me.

"Stop trying to make me leave here. It won't happen, so it's pretty pointless," he barked and looked at him with annoyance.

"You want to talk? Fine! Let's talk," I barked back at him and he sat down on my bed.

"I saw what you did before you got stabbed," he pointed out and I froze. Fuck.

"I have no clue what you're talking about," I lied and he chuckled.

"Oh, honey, we both know that you can't lie to me," he laughed and I blushed. "It was almost like you wanted to get killed. And that thought terrifies me."

"Why's that?" I asked him.

"Because if you're so willing to die, then you might want to commit suicide," he looked at me harshly.

"It's not the same. I knew that I had no way out of that situation," I argued back. "What did you expect me to do, huh? Did you want me to wait for you like a fucking damsel in distress and expect for you to save me? Well, Blake, as far as I knew, you weren't anywhere near me and with no knowledge about my situation. So yeah, you have no right to be angry with me right now."

"Don't I?" He asked. "You didn't even try to run, to fight back. You simply stood there, waiting for him to slice you up. You could have held up a sign saying that you want to die, that would have been the same thing you did there."

"Why the fuck are we talking about this right now?" I asked him. "I'm alive. That's all that matters right?"

"Right, that's all that fucking matters to me, but if you continue this fuck everything act, then I will have no choice but to keep you locked up in my place."

I sighed, fully knowing, that he would have no problem doing that.

"You better explain to me why did you break my heart after sleeping with me," I snapped, but before he could answer I continued, "If you really felt like breaking up with me, was better than me knowing about my brother, then let me tell you that it fucking wasn't."

"What did you expect me to do, huh? If you have found out, you would have taken the matters into your own hands and I better know that you're sad but safe, not fucking dead in a ditch," Blake said harshly.

'Thank you for your help," I genuinely said, "but what happens the next time someone I love gets in danger? Will you break my heart again?"

Blake sighed and lowered his gaze, "No. I realize now that what I did was a stupid mistake. Next time I will just keep you locked up."

I wanted to argue more, but was too tired to do that.

"There's one more thing bothering me," he said and I looked up at him.

"What did you mean by me talking to you the last month?" He asked and I stopped breathing.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"The last month before summer, of course," I lied and he glared at me.

"I'm leaving to live with my mom," I finally said and Blake looked at me in horror.

"What?" He asked and I remained silent. "No. This can't be happening."

He looked down so devastated and I felt even worse about all of this situation.

"Is it because of what happened in Italy?" He asked me and instead of lying, I told him the truth.

"Partly. Also because my mom can't afford paying for another house," I explained and he pressed his face into his palms. "If I have been sleeping for five days, it means that I have little more than a week left here."

"Why didn't you tell me?" He whispered, clearly in pain and I chose to be silent.

He looked up and I saw tears on his face. I lifted my hand and wiped them away with my thumb. "You know why."

"Would you have told me eventually?" He asked and I said yes.

"I would have said goodbye, even though i felt betrayed. We shared too many good memories, to abandon them like this."

Suddenly he completely changed and instead of looking devastated, he seemed almost determined. "I can pay for your house or you could live with me. There's always a solution to problems."

I shook my head, "I'm going. Nothing's going to change that."

"Then I can go with you," he said hopefully and I shook my head.

"You know that I won't agree to this," I said and he smirked.

"And you already know that I don't need your approval to do things," he said cockily.

"Blake listen," I tried once again. "It's a funny thing. When I read, I love to bury myself into books and the deeper I bury myself, the harder it gets to see the world around me."

"What does this situation have to do with your love towards books?" He asked me.

"Everything. I am your book. You love keeping me close and you don't see anything that's going on around you. You have a purpose in your life, that you're neglecting only because at this moment you're only seeing me. I don't want to be the reason your family has to wait on you. Once I'm out of your life, maybe you'll finally see things clearer and realize that you didn't love me at all."

Blake took my face with both of his hands and kissed me harshly, our teeth clattering together from the impact. I used all of my strength to push him away. "You're doing this again. You need to see past me."

"I love you and I'm not fucking blind," he finally said and I felt my heart squeezing. "And you know what?"

He didn't wait for me to say anything and continued, " I will give you three years to try to live a little independently, but once that's over, I will be standing on your threshold, waiting for you to let me inside your life once again."

"Don't be ridiculous," I scoffed and he took my face in his hands once again, but this time he forced me look at him.

"Do I sound like I'm joking?" He asked and I shivered. "Didn't think so. But I have left only little more than a week and I'm going to spend all of that time with you."

"You do realize that I have other friends too," I glared at him and he laughed.

"We both know that we aren't just friends, mia regina."

"You're living with me for your last days," he said, leaving me no more room for argument. "And you already told me that you loved me, so don't worry about that."

Fuck.