Tolerance Book I (Chicago PD/Med FF) by Frances51163

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Insight

The room was silent after Wills' strong verbal declaration.   Jay lowered his head and wondered how things had gotten to this stage then a thought struck him.

"I need to talk to Lance, Jack and Mark."
"They're fine," Hank looked at the main cause of his concern, "I've arranged for them to be brought in."
"Thanks," Jay sighed in relief.
"Jay I can't let you meet your father.  You know he wants you dead."
"Maybe."
"No maybe about it," Adam argued, "we'll find a way to get him."
"That sounds good but we can't waste anymore time.  Not when he's out there planning something."
"Where does he want to meet?" Will interrupted.
"Doesn't say.  Note just says he needs to talk to Jay," Antonio explained rubbing a hand down his face, "and he'll be in touch."
"It's time this is ended," Jay spoke firmly.
"Not on his terms," Kevin protested.
"If he thinks I'm doing things on his terms it might make him let his guard down."
"Doubt it," Will voiced his opinion.
"This has nothing to do with you," Jay looked over at his astonished older brother, "it never has and it never will.  This is about me."
"Like hell!" Will strode over to his sibling before Conor could stop him.
"Like whatever," Jay shrugged dismissively before turning to his superior, "you know I'm right.  We need to do this now.  Not when innocent victims get caught in the crossfire."
"He's going to want to hurt you," Will stayed in front of the smaller man who was doing his best to ignore him.
"He's a loose cannon but I've dealt with him plenty of times," Jay spoke again to Hank.
"What do you think is likely to happen if I agree to let you go?"
"He'll spend time explaining why he thinks I'm worthless," the pale Detective answered with apparent nonchalance, "and when I get a chance I'll take him down."
"Think you're forgetting something," Adam hinted as he walked over to stand beside Will, "as well as talking about why he thinks you're worthless he'll hurt you."
"It doesn't matter."
"Yes it matters," Adam shook his head sadly at the other man, "you getting hurt always matters.   It always did and it always will.  You know why?"
"Leave it," Jay shrugged.
"It matters because you're not worthless," Hank joined in and for the first time the younger mans' vulnerability was shown to his friends, despite his best efforts, "you're one hell of a man Jay Halstead and one we all know is worthy of respect and loyalty.  Your father said those things to you as a child and they stayed with you because he's your father.  The man you are proves the lie in his words."
"I ...... I gotta ....,"
"Let's go down to the garage while we wait for your friends," Adam suggested with a nod of approval from his Sergeant.
"Could do with some air myself," Antonio stepped in front of Will and placed a hand on the Detectives' shoulder.
"Yeah ....," Jay agreed distractedly allowing himself to be led away.

"Damn," Will shook his head once they were alone, "he's never once let me see how hurt he's been by our fathers' words.  He'll never talk about what happened to him.  This is the first time I've seen him ..... fragile."
"About time he learnt he's not worthless," Al sighed heavily, "all that Kid has been through, all the things he has done and he still feels worthless?   That son of a bitch should die.  Sorry Doc."
"No need to apologize on my behalf," Will sat down on the nearby desk and looked around the room, "he's going to find some way to meet our father whether he has permission or not."
"Agreed so how do we handle it," Kevin asked.
"When he comes back I'll argue for another while but eventually give in.  We'll tell him he'll have Adam and  Kevin as back up," Hank laid out what he had in mind.
"But he knows we always have the Unit as support," Al looked at his old friend.
"Have to convince him we know it would be too risky to have everyone involved."
"What then?" Kevin checked.
"We actually have everyone involved," Hank elaborated, "he's going to try to ditch Adam and Kevin so we let him.   I'm guessing he's going to be so preoccupied about his father we'll get away with tailing him."
"Don't think he'll get preoccupied," Al pointed out thoughtfully, "you're forgetting he's a Sniper.   You learn to focus on your mission no matter what distractions are present."
"But you saw him just now," Conor said doubtfully, looking over at the experienced Detective, "he's upset.  Distracted even."
"No argument there," Al conceded easily, "but he's not on a mission in here.  When he's meeting his father it will be a different story I promise you."
"I believe you," Will nodded, "he's always good at concentrating on things.  I remember one time when we were kids, he was around ten, he was halfway through building a model aircraft for a school project.  Our father got mad over something when Mom was out one day and shut a door on Jays' fingers.   Broke four.  It was his dominant hand, his right one.  When he got back from the hospital Mom took him up to go to bed for a rest.   They'd been at the hospital all night.  Mom asked me to check on him about ten minutes later and I went up expecting to find him dead to the world," Will thought back to that morning with infinite sadness.
"What was he doing?" Conor prompted when the silence lingered.
"He was sitting at his desk working on the model," tears glistened in Wills' eyes as he recounted the worst part of that story, "I walked over to tell him he should be lying down.  Then I got a look at the aircraft.  The half he had put together had been ripped apart."
"Ah damn," Hank shook his head.
"Jay just sat there using his left hand trying to put the pieces back together.  I offered to help but he said it was his project and he wasn't going to cheat."
"Even then he had more character than that ass!" Al growled.
"Definitely," Will agreed softly. 

Downstairs Jay was once again sitting down taking in some fresh air as Adam and Antonio flanked him.

"Ye have to help me convince Sarge it's the right thing to do."
"Not sure there's any 'right' thing to do in this situation," Adam shook his head.
"Well it's the only option there is," Jay persisted, determined to get the two men on side.
"If you were in our shoes would you help?" Antonio posed an interesting question.
"Don't know," Jay shrugged his shoulders.
"Well at least you're honest," Adam grinned.
"Oh yeah!  At least I'm that."
"Hey Jay what Sarge said is true.  You're not worthless," Antonio reiterated firmly, "you have got to accept that in there," he patted the other mans' chest, "I know in your head you know your father was just using those words to hurt you.  Think it's time your heart believed it too."
"You're being a bit dramatic," Jay tried to deflect the other man.
"Nope.  Just being honest," Antonio replied seriously making sure his friend saw the truth in his eyes.
"So who's bringing Lance, Jack and Mark in?"
"Roman and Burgess," Adam knew they had to allow the change in topic as they didn't want to upset their friend.
"Should be here soon," Antonio said hoping the next few days would see an end to part of his friends' sorry saga at least.

tbc