Tolerance Book I (Chicago PD/Med FF) by Frances51163

Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Eight

Taking a deep breath Jay tapped on the appointed door as the Secretary tidied up her desk after confirming Sam was still in his office and he was free to go in.

"Jay.  It's good to see you," the Counsellor stood up with a warm smile and walked around his desk to place a welcoming hand on the other mans' shoulder, unsurprised to find it tense.
"Sam," Jay shrugged out of the hold but offered a hand.
"How about we go for a walk?" Sam offered as he accepted the firm grip.
"A walk?"
"Sure.  Nice to get out of the office some times.  You okay with that?"
"Ah .... yeah," Jay hurriedly agreed.
"I like to get out when the weather permits," the Counsellor explained as he grabbed his jacket and led the way out of the now quiet building.

It was fifteen minutes later when Jay stopped on the bridge overlooking the river and broke the silence.

"Aren't you supposed to ask me questions?"
"Questions can help sometimes but there are no rules to follow other than listening and helping if possible.  Besides you seemed pretty lost in your thoughts, I didn't want to intrude."
"Damn," the Detective sighed heavily and eyed the cold waters below, "sorry.  Guess I'm just not good company right now."
"That's why you're here," Sam reminded gently as he eyed their surroundings ruefully, "let me amend that.  That's why you came to see me.  You want to tell me what's on your mind?"
"Not a lot Doc," Jay shrugged dismissively as he aired the words automatically.
"Want to try again?"
"Look this was a bad idea," the young Detective went to turn back the way they had come but found his arm in a strong grip.
"You need to talk to someone Jay.  If not me someone else.  You've faced bigger challenges than talking about your problems," Sam cajoled patiently after releasing his hold when he was sure that the other man would stay, "how about giving it a try at least?  Tell me about your father.  You haven't really had a chance to mourn him."
"What do you know about my father?" Jay looked at the Counsellor suspiciously.
"Just that he was hard on you.  I don't really know what that means though."
"That's one way to describe it!" Jay scoffed derisively.
"What way would you describe it?"
"Brutal, savage, hell pick any way you want to describe a Psychopath."
"I'm sorry Jay.   No one should grow up with a father who hurts them.   Did you ever confront him when you were a child?"
"He was bigger than me."
"True but it's in your nature to stand up to bullies and he appears to have been one."
"I ..... I was ... afraid of him," Jay eventually admitted with a shake of his head in self derision.
"That's nothing to be ashamed of.  It tells me you were a survivor.   Chances are you would have been hurt worse if you fought back.   Tell me about your mother."
"What about her?"
"Did she know what was going on?"
"Of course not!"
"You didn't tell her?"
"No I didn't.  It would have destroyed her."
"So even as a young boy you were displaying protective skills," Sam noted frankly, "did you think she would believe you?"
"Never considered that," Jay frowned at the thought, "I think she would have.  She was mad about Will and myself.  It would have broken her heart."
"Obviously you take after her."
"I like to think so."

"Yourself and your brother seem close.   Did he know?"
"About the old man?  He knew some of it."
"Did you tell him or did he find out himself?"
"He found out," Jay thought back to the day Will had walked in and seen his contusions, "he got angry."
"You sound surprised by that."
"I wasn't it's just his anger didn't do any good."
"What did he do when he found out?"
"I told you, he got angry."
"Yes he was angry his kid brother had been hurt but what happened after the anger left him?"
"He wanted to tell Mom," Jay sighed as he thought back to that time, "took a lot to convince him that was not an option."
"I can imagine.  He must have been in an impossible position.  How did you persuade him?"
"Told him the truth," Jay explained softly as his mind, unbidden, took him back in time .....

They had been arguing for over an hour and Jay had no intention of giving in but he was feeling awful and all the arguing was only adding to his woes.   Finally in desperation he decided to play the one ace he had up his sleeve, an ace he had been reluctant to use but now he saw there was no alternative.

"Hey listen to me will ya?"
"What?" Will looked across at his pale sibling noting the determination in his eyes.
"I want you to promise me you won't say anything to Mom."
"Are you crazy?"  I can't do that," the redhead shook his head in disapproval, "he has to be stopped!"
"You want him to hurt Mom?  That what you want?"
"Of course not!   Look we'll sort this out.  Get the Police to deal with him and ...,"
"Damn it Will!  Listen to me.  I promise you here and now if you say one word to Mom I'm out of here and you'll never see me again."
"Jay how long has he been doing this?" Wills' initial shock at his findings was beginning to wear off and his natural rational and inquisitive self was coming to the fore.
"Doesn't matter."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Nothing you could do.  I didn't want to worry you," Jay confessed hoarsely, unable to meet his brothers' assessing eyes.
"Hell Jay you're not supposed to be worried about me.  You serious about leaving if I tell Mom?"
"Yeah.  It's my choice and I've made my decision."
"So what are we going to do about ...... the old man?" Will struggled to contain his rage knowing it was futile at this time and wanting to be supportive.
"Nothing to do.  I've been dealing with it.  I can handle it for another few years."
"How can you say that so calmly?  Aren't you pissed?"
"Hell sure I am but I've had longer than you to deal with it.  Being angry doesn't help me."
"Guess not.  If I give you my promise that I won't speak to Mom will you promise me something?"
"What?"
"I want you to promise me that the next time he hurts you you'll tell me."
"What's the point?"
"Maybe I can help you.  Get some painkillers or something."
"You always liked using me as your pretend patient," Jay joked.
"So will you give me your promise?"
"I'll think about it but I want your word right now about Mom.  It's not negotiable."
"But you .....,"
"I meant what I said Will.  Look I know this isn't easy for you but I don't want to leave home."
"You'd really go?"
"What do you think?" Jay checked resolutely.
"I think I've got one hell of a kid brother," Will offered his hand to confirm his promise, "and one day that son of a bitch will pay for hurting you."
"Now that I can agree with no problem."

tbc