Tolerance Book I (Chicago PD/Med FF) by Frances51163

Chapter One Hundred and Thirteen: Tackling Friends

"What's the big deal about a recertification?" Matt frowned when no answer was forthcoming.
"You show you can use a taser but you also get tased.  Jay was ..... hurt before by someone with a taser," Kevin replied softly not sure if he should even divulge that much.
"Hurt! He was tortured!" Will exploded as he slammed his bottle down on the table.
"Will!" Adam looked at the older Halstead sibling in rebuke.
"Sorry .... I just ....,"
"What you just heard does not go any further.  The Kid would never forgive us if he thought ye knew," Hank eyed the two Firefighters solemnly.
"Sure.  You have our word," Kelly assured as Matt nodded beside him, "that what went down the time he was abducted?"
"Yeah," Antonio acknowledged grimly, "and you have to recertify every year.  You get tased and use the taser."
"But surely .....," Conor began only to be cut off.
"The first year after the incident when the time for Recertification came up I told Jay I could get him a medical waiver," Hank looked at the men deciding to impart something he hadn't informed the team of, "he got very upset.  Said he didn't need one.  He could handle it."
"And he did," Adam shared with admiration, "Jenkins would have been surprised if he knew how familiar Jay is with the weapon."
"Jenkins?" Matt knew the name.
"He does the Taser Recertifications," Al offered, "guy has a mean sense of humour and is lazy.  Doesn't over exert himself."
"Sounds like the guy who did dope tests at 51 before," Matt decided.
"Could be," Kevin confirmed before becoming serious, "so what are we going to do about Jay?"
"Any ideas?" Conor half pleaded, they really did need to help the younger man.
"Why don't you ask me?" a soft voice asked from behind the group, causing most of the men to flinch.

When Jay had left the precinct he knew his hasty exit would raise alarm bells so after getting control of his emotions by going for a long walk he had decided to do some damage control and call into Mollys before heading home.  He knew some if not all of the team would be there since it was a Friday evening.  He had chastised himself for getting caught up in memories thereby causing his friends more worry.  Hell he knew they were concerned about him but he really just wished everything could go back to the way it had been before the attack at Med. That night had changed his whole life and definitely not in a good way.  The young man was now left feeling raw and vulnerable.  The two overpowering emotions he had vanquished in his childhood now threatened him again. The memories of yesteryear which had been reawakened were still proving hard to banish to the outer reaches of his mind where they usually resided and he was left feeling constantly on edge.  He was managing to put on a good act he figured but his brother and friends knew him too well.  Availing of the back entrance, as Herrmann had instructed him to do whenever he wished, he walked out of the kitchen/storeroom and found his brother and friends discussing him ....

"Hey Jay didn't know you were coming tonight," Adam said guiltily, wondering just how much his friend had heard.
"Jay it's good to see you," Matt put in trying to ease the tension which had descended, "it's been a while."
"So why do ye have to do anything about me?" the young Detective calmly asked by paraphrasing Kevins' words, after nodding to Matt and Kelly.
"Listen man ...," Antonio began only to be cut off.
"We're just worried about you Kid," Hank finally spoke, "we're your friends.  You can't expect us to just stand by and do nothing when we see you struggling."
"Hey Jay," Herrmann had observed the scene unfolding and brought over a bottle of beer hoping to diffuse the situation for he was well aware of what was going on in this corner of his bar, "this is on the house."
"What? No I'll pay," the pale man went to take out his wallet but a hand stopped him.
"Nah I still owe you for what you did last week."
"What did he do?" Al asked before his young friend could say anything.
"I didn't do ....," Jay started to deny but was interrupted.
"Took care of a couple of guys who were hassling a young woman outside," Herrman happily explained as he patted the embarrassed mans' back, "of course this guy didn't let on anything.  It was only the following night the young woman came back and told me what had happened.  She was quite shaken up but wanted me to thank Jay."
"How did you know it was Jay?" Adam asked curiously.
"Her description. She said the guy who rescued her was in his early thirties, five foot eight and spoke quietly."
"That could be anyone," Jay muttered uneasily.
"True," Herrmann grinned wickedly, "but I also have CCTV footage!"
"Ah hell!"
"Besides I didn't need the surveillance tape to know who it was."
"Why not?" Antonio dutifully asked when the veteran Firefighter paused for effect.
"Because she also said he was very polite and she felt safe with him."
"That couldn't be just anyone," Conor concluded, "she must have good instincts."
"She must have," Herrmann agreed becoming serious, "Cindy also has good instincts. That's why she tried to set Jay up before.  Let me tell you she doesn't trust her friends to just anyone.  Jay is the only one she's tried to set one of them up with."
"Think we should be offended?" Adam asked in mock chagrin, glad for the distraction.
"Think we should," Antonio commented drily causing the others to chuckle.
"Well I better get back before Otis starts giving out," Herrmann headed off after tossing an unrepentant wink to Jay.

"Jay we were just trying to find a way to make things easier for you," Al decided to front up to the main issue, unwilling to try to ignore they had been discussing their friend.
"Yeah Jay .....," Will began.
"Easier?  I'm a grown man.  Ye don't get to do anything about me!" although the words were softly spoken the intensity behind them was not lost on any of the men.
"Reckon we're just concerned about you," Adam confessed.
"Why? I do my job.  No one can say I don't."
"No one is saying you're not doing your job Kid," Hank looked at his youngest Detective carefully, noting the still pale features and too thin frame, "hell no matter how tired you're obviously feeling you always put in more hours than you should.  You never complain or gripe even though you're dying from a killer headache and you always put 100 percent into an investigation ...,"
"Well then there's nothing to discuss," Jay interrupted eyeing his teammates and colleagues, steadfastly ignoring the surprised looks he was receiving from Will and Conor on hearing he was still getting headaches.
"Maybe we should go," Kelly suggested to Matt not wanting to intrude.
"Stay," Jay ordered as he took a sip of beer before placing his bottle on the table, "I only came in for one."
"Tell me this if you saw Adam struggling would you just ignore him?" Conor spoke for the first time to stop the stressed man from turning away even if he wished this conversation was taking place in a more private setting.
"Course not but I'm not struggling," Jay sighed as he ducked his head, "I'm not going to lie.  The past few months have brought back a lot of memories that I didn't want to deal with but that's my problem.  Just need some time that's all."
"Think what we want you to know Kid is that yes you can deal with it by yourself," Hank spoke firmly as the younger finally looked up from the floor, "but you don't have to. We're all here whenever you need a friendly ear."
"That goes for us too," Matt stated solemnly.
"Thanks but I can handle it," Jay blushed, "I'll see ye."
"I'll head out with you," Will quickly stood up after tossing some notes on the table, "I have an early shift in the morning."
"See you Monday Jay," Adam called after his friend as he headed into the back room with his older sibling trailing behind and was relieved when he was rewarded with a raised hand in acknowledgment.
"Well that could have gone worse," Conor offered into the silence.
"I thought he was going to flip out," Matt admitted.
"Not his way," Al informed him with a grimace, "he keeps his emotions in check.  At least in public."
"All we can do is be there for him," Hank commented in defeat.

The veteran Policeman was getting sick and tired of watching from the sidelines as his friend floundered.  Sooner or later something had to give.

tbc