Tolerance Book I (Chicago PD/Med FF) by Frances51163

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Eight: A Brothers' Contrition

Will looked across at his brother and wished this conversation was taking place anywhere but the precinct.  It was definitively the wrong setting for such a discussion but he needed to finally come clean with the younger man about his fears and the resulting fallout with the Unit.

"They told me you didn't tell them where you were heading to."
"So?"
"So I came here to ..... get answers," Will ran a hand through his hair, "guess it looked like I didn't believe them."
"That why you got a frosty reception?"
"Partly.  I said some things ...... only because I was worried about you but ..........," Will hesitated, unsure how his brother would deal with his revelation, "I basically said I didn't think you should be by yourself."
"That doesn't sound so bad," Jay began to smile in relief but his siblings' features caused him to sit up straight on his chair, "what am I missing?"
"I ..... I more or less stated that I was worried ....... that you might harm yourself," Will looked away after seeing the hurt flicker in the blue eyes, "I was just concerned that's all!"
"Hang on a second," Jay stood up, momentarily forgetting his hip and cursing as he moved too fast, "you came here and told my colleagues I was at risk of ..... suicide?!"
"Jay sit down.  Your hip .......,"
"Don't you dare," Jay couldn't believe what he had been told and then turned back from the counter he had been leaning on as a frightening thought struck him, "please tell me Voight wasn't there! Please tell me you did not have that conversation with Voight in the office?"
"Look Jay I wish I could .....,"
"Oh my God! You did!" Jay half yelled his disbelief and despair, how was he ever going to face the men again?
"I'm so sorry Jay," Will got to his feet and walked over to stand in front of the injured man, "I've made a mess of trying to look out for you.  It took Conor to finally make me see that I was acting out of fear for what might happen and the truth is I figure if I had gone through half the things you have I think I'd find it hard to go on."
"What the hell does that even mean?" Jay asked softly not meeting the taller mans' eyes as he tried to get his head around what he had been told.
"It means I guess if I was in your shoes I'd be considering ...... ending it," Will sighed heavily, "and I ......... projected that onto you."
"So let me get this straight," Jay limped back over to the table and sat down gingerly before asking with restrained anger, "because you didn't think you could deal with a situation you felt it was quite alright to walk in here, to my place of work, and tell my friends AND my boss that I couldn't deal with what's been happening?!  That about right or did I miss anything?"
"I guess that sums it up," the Doctor admitted, shame colouring his tone, "I wish I could take it back I really do but ...... I can't."
"You've done this before," Jay reminded coldly, "when you turned up a few months after Mom died and when Pete was killed.  I let it go then because I just didn't want to argue with you ........... so maybe it's my fault."
"What?" the redhead looked aghast.
"If I had confronted you back then maybe it wouldn't have happened this time," Jay said in self disgust.
"No Jay," Will shook his head adamantly, "this is all on me, not you!  Don't go doing that. You're not to blame."
"I need you to tell me everything that was said," Jay sat up straighter as he gathered his thoughts with a look of determination and tried to ignore the pain from his injuries.
"I just did," Will frowned in confusion.
"I mean I want a verbatim version of what went down. I want to know everything that was said," the injured man instructed firmly, allowing no room for dissent, "now start talking."

Out in the open plan office area the three Detectives had long ago abandoned their pretense of working and were sending furtive glances to the break room.  They had heard their friends' raised voice and right then and there Adam had got up but Antonio had cautioned him against interfering between the two brothers.

"It's gone awfully quiet," Kevin observed with a sigh wondering, not for the first time, why things had to be so complicated for their friend.
"Not sure whether that's good or bad," Antonio put in, "I'm just hoping the Doc is telling him everything.  They need to resolve this."
"Jay is going to be upset," Adam warned morosely, he hated being on the sidelines when his friend was hurting.
"Hey they're brothers," Antonio reminded trying to sound optimistic, "they'll work it out. May take a while but they will."
"Have ye ever seen two brothers so different? It's amazing."
"No can't say as I have but they love each other,' Antonio spoke thoughtfully, "in the end that will see them through."

In the break room Will looked across at his silent sibling as he finally finished going over what everyone had said on the day of his misguided visit.  Repeating it drove home just how badly he had not only misjudged the situation but how wrong he was to drag the Unit into it.  Sure they had asked a couple of questions but those questions were only voiced once he aired his concerns.  It was clear however the men had not been thinking along similar lines.

"I don't blame you if you hate me," the Doctor stated honestly, seeking some response from his obviously still stunned companion.
"I don't know what to say," Jays' voice betrayed the hurt caused as he slowly got up keeping his gaze on the floor, "think you need to go."
"I'm sorry Jay.  I really am," the redhead stood up eyeing his brother, "I know you need some time to process this but ...... please call me okay?  When you're ready."
"Bye," the pale Detective gestured to the door with his uninjured hand without raising his head.

Will walked out of the break room, pulling the door out behind him, and found himself under scrutiny from three Detectives.  Glancing at Adam he spoke quietly.

"I've told Jay everything that went down the other day.  He's pretty upset," Will admitted, "I've apologised to him and now I'm apologising to ye.  I shouldn't have dragged ye into this.  I let my fears get the better of me and in doing that instead of protecting my brother I've hurt him when he was already dealing with enough hurt."
"We know you care about him Doc," Kevin put in taking pity on the genuinely regretful man, "but like you said he's dealing with enough things at the moment without you adding more stress."
"I know, I know," Will shook his head sadly, "and I know I have no right to but I'm going to ask anyway .....,"
"What?" Antonio wondered what was coming next.
"I'm going to have to take a step back ...... at least for a while.  I need to give him a chance to think things through ...,"
"What do you want?" Adam demanded barely keeping the irritation out of his voice.
"I want ye to let me know if there is anything I can do to help him."
"Okay Doc," Antonio nodded before Adam could say anything, "and we'll look after him."
"I may not know a lot but that I do know," Will nodded to the three men before he went down the stairs, his shoulders hunched.

tbc