Tolerance Book I (Chicago PD/Med FF) by Frances51163

Chapter Sixty-Three: Guilt Unfounded

Entering the warehouse Jay noted Al was after bagging his fathers' shattered cell.   He knew however that nothing would erase the sound of his lovable companions' howls of pain as he was battered to death for they were freshly embedded in his brain.   Any relief he felt at not having killed the old man was negated by the fact that he knew in his heart he had come close to doing so.   Oh he had shot exactly where he aimed for but for a split second he had wavered.   The urge to kill had been strong.   It had come to the fore again as the other man goaded him prior to the Units' arrival.   The pained young man felt that he had let his mother down by even contemplating such a deed.  He couldn't stifle a sigh as Hank walked over to him with a frown.

"I told you to get checked out Kid," the Sergeant reminded gently, sharing a look with Adam, "you know you can't be here."
"I know you can't torture him," Jay countered calmly, meeting the older mans' gaze unflinchingly.
"We need to know where he got the rifles," Hank pointed out.
"I know but you're not going to hurt him."
"Not even a little bit?" Hank asked wrily.
"No."
"Okay Halstead.  We do it your way.  Now get out of here.   Something tells me your brother has a few things to say to you."
"Nothing new there," Jay looked across at his father, now standing against the wall with only his hands tied, and Antonio and Kevin on either side of him, "I want to be there when you interview him."
"You can't ........," Adam began.
"I know I can't interview him but I want to be there."
"You sure?" Hank asked seriously, knowing the young man must be on an emotional roller-coaster at the moment.
"I'm sure," Jay tore his gaze away from his nemesis, "besides I might be able to pick up on something ye don't."
"Okay.  You can observe but first you go to Med and get checked out."
"I'm fine I don't .........,"
"That wasn't a suggestion.  You and Adam head out now.  We're taking the old man to Memorial."
"But .........,"
"Kid don't push your luck," Hank chided without any real rancour, "we'll see ye later."
"Come on Jay," Adam tugged his friends' uninjured arm to get him moving.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Despite Jays' strong protests Conor insisted on travelling to Med in the SUV with them. Jay had refused to leave the warehouse until the ambulance carrying the old man departed with the others.   All attempts to draw the pale man into conversation once on the way to Med had been ignored as the Detective stared out the window.   While Jay and Adam had been in the warehouse Conor had taken the time to ring Will.   After telling him what little he knew he had firmly cautioned the redhead to thread carefully with his brother and not to pressure him with questions.   The Surgeon had shared that he was afraid his young friend was dealing with more than a dislocated shoulder.  He had notified the older Halstead sibling also that given the way Jay had dealt with the dislocation it was likely he was familiar with such an injury.  Will had turned the air blue as the ramifications of that sank in.   Despite what many people assumed when a dislocated joint was put back into place it did not immediately alleviate the pain fully.   For a joint to be dislocated it must in turn push muscles and tendons out of place.   The tissues surrounding the rotator cuff announced disapproval at the harsh treatment by way of severe pain.   The shoulder would be very painful for the next couple of days and would in fact take weeks to heal fully.   The thought that his little brother had known that pain as he grew up saddened him deeply and Will had told Conor frankly that he was sure he would never know the full extent of the abuse his sibling suffered.   The Surgeon could not argue with that assumption so could only offer to be there for both brothers.

Thirty minutes later Jay returned to his cubicle, after a trip to Radiology for an x-ray, still not willing to be drawn into any unnecessary conversation.   Will had yet to see him as he was tied up in an emergency and Jay was relieved at that as he wasn't in the mood for big brother going into Doctor mode with him, even if he wasn't his patient.   He had refused to undress and get into a hospital gown stating he had no intention of staying once the x-ray results were back.  Conor had warned Adam quietly to make sure their friend didn't decide to do another disappearing act.   The Detective had promised he would stay at the injured mans' side.

"So how are things in here?" Conor walked in and looked at the pale man reclining on the gurney with eyes closed.
"About time," Jay went to get up but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.
"Stay where you are," Conor instructed as he took the stethoscope from around his neck and lifted up the loose black shirt without preamble, "want to check your breathing again.  That shot I gave you earlier should kick start the antibiotics so you need to start taking them again from today.  I'm getting a prescription filled in the pharmacy for you. Take some deep breaths.  You know the drill."
"Can't you just leave me be?" the Detective pleaded as he tried to push away the invading hands but was brought up short by the pain in his shoulder.
"Hell man that even hurt me," Adam winced as he stepped closer to the other side of the gurney, "just let the Doc do his thing and then we can go."
"Easy for you to say."
"I know man," Adam conceded as the curtain was pulled back.
"How is he?" Will addressed Conor anxiously.
"'He' is right here," Jay groused as he dutifully complied taking deep breaths as the cool pad was moved around, "and 'he' is fine."
"He needs to rest," Conor pulled down the shirt and sighed, "anything else you have to ask him."
"I'll be right outside Jay," Adam caught the look the Surgeon sent him, knowing the brothers needed time to talk.

"You going to look at me?" Will asked as soon as the pair were alone.
"What?" Jay finally looked up at his brother as he awkwardly sat up and swung his legs off the bed, glaring at his sibling when he went to stop him.
"Jay you heard Conor.  You need to rest."
"And I will," the pale man got to his feet slowly and adjusted the black sling Conor had found for him saying it wouldn't stand out so much, using the task to avoid the bigger mans' assessing glance.
"I want you to know something Kid.  If you had killed the b*****d it would have been okay with me."
"No.  Don't say that," Jay looked at the floor in shame, "I shot ....... him."
"Hey you did what you had to do," Will moved closer and before the younger man could react embraced him gently, mindful of the painful limb, "and I'm damn glad you did little brother."
"Shouldn't have hurt him," the tired man mumbled into his brothers' shoulder as he returned the embrace one handed for a few seconds before stepping back.
"I'm going to keep saying it till you believe it.  You have nothing to he sorry for and if Mom was here she'd say the same thing," the redhead spoke insightfully.
"No ......... she wouldn't."
"Jay I don't know what went on since you left but I do know Mom would never have expected you to let him kill you.  You take after her in so many ways.  You're a better man than I could ever be."
"I've got to go," Jay ignored the compliment as he headed for the door.
"Where to?"
"Work," Jay walked out before the shocked man could argue.

tbc