Tolerance Book I (Chicago PD/Med FF) by Frances51163

Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Six: Voights' Ultimatum

Jay followed the older man into his office and closed the door behind him.

"Have a seat Kid," Voight instructed as he sat down behind his desk, eyeing his subordinate.
"I'm good."
"Wasn't a request."
"Sarge," Jay obeyed with a frown.
"I was getting worried about you," Voight confessed in a half lie, truth was he was still worried about the young man.
"I'm fine Sarge."
"You look worse than you did when you gave me your resignation letter," Voight shook his head.
"I still have a job?"
"I'll always want you in my Unit Kid. That letter got misfiled."
"Appreciated," Jay started to get up but the move was forestalled.
"We need to talk. I mentioned red tape when you phoned."
"Red tape?"
"You need to pass a physical ...,"
"I can do that."
"And attend counselling .....,"
"I don't need counselling," Jay insisted, struggling not to raise his voice.
"Kid you've been through hell. No harm in talking to someone."
"I just needed some time to get things straight in my head. I don't need to talk to a shrink."
"My hands are tied on this. The brass want a guarantee you're okay to do your job."
"Or is it you?" the question was out before the embattled man could stop them.
"You ever know me to take a back route to mollycoddle someone?" Voight asked sardonically, a smirk burgeoning despite the seriousness of the matter, he was glad to see some spunk from the young Detective.
"No Sarge," Jay ducked his head in embarrassment, "sorry. It's just ....,"
"You spoke to a Counsellor before. What's so different this time around?"
"Look maybe me coming back wasn't such a good idea," Jay got to his feet purposefully, "thanks for everything."
"You're many things Jay but a coward isn't one of them," Voight stood and walked over to stand beside the shaken man, "Sam has agreed to counsel you. Give it a chance Kid. That's all I'm asking. Besides you wouldn't really want me to face those guys out there and say you're quitting would you? Once was bad enough."
"It's not that ..... simple."
"Nothing of any worth ever is. You think about it. Get back to me by the end of the week," the Sergeant offered his hand and they shook firmly, "meanwhile I'm going to tell the guys paperwork has to be sorted out before you can come back on active duty."
"Okay," Jay spoke after a few moments of consideration, "thanks Sarge."
"And Jay just so you know anything you say to Sam will stay between ye. All the Department will get is confirmation of your readiness to return to the job. That's it."

Two hours later Jay sat in his apartment quietly cursing himself as he nursed a beer. A knock on the door startled him and after checking the spy hole he sighed and opened the door to let his visitor in.

"So when were you going to let me know you were back in town?" Will asked quietly without rancour as he assessed his sibling automatically.
"How did you find out?" Jay tossed out his own question as he retook his seat on the couch.
"Bumped into Adam and Kevin at Mollys."
"There's beer in the fridge."
"So why didn't you call me?" the redhead persisted as he made short work of retrieving a cool bottle and sitting down opposite his host.
"Had some things on my mind."
"Talk about an understatement!"
"If you're looking for a fight go elsewhere."
"A fight? I'm not looking for an argument Kid. Just worried about you."
"Why?"
"Why what?" Will frowned, showing his bafflement.
"Why are you worried about me?" Jay asked genuinely.
"Because you're my brother," the eldest sibling explained when he realized the query was a serious one, "and I happen to care a lot about you."
"You shouldn't," Jay eyed the carpet rather than his brother, didn't he understand he didn't deserve someone worrying over him?
"Jay what's going on?" the redhead asked with a frown, feeling as if he was missing something important.
"Nothing."
"You know I care about you so tell me why I shouldn't."
"I'm not worth it," Jay explained softly as he got up and headed back into the kitchen in search of privacy.
"You have to know that's not true," Will walked over to the doorway but kept his distance, not wishing to overcrowd the flustered young man but needing to get his point across, "you're a good man Jay and anyone who knows you knows you're not worthless. The old man was wrong about a lot of things Jay, including that. He was the one who was worthless."
"Look I'm just tired," Jay shrugged a shoulder dismissively, "don't mind me."
"You still believe you're worthless," Will stated with certainty around a sigh, "despite all the good you've done in your life. The old man used what words he could to do the most damage but deep down you have to know he was wrong Jay. He could never have been even half the man you are and you know me I don't exaggerate, even when it comes to my baby brother."
"'Baby'?" Jay repeated as he forced a mock glare hoping to deflect the serious conversation.
"You'll always be my baby brother," Will acknowledged unrepentantly before becoming serious again, "and that means you can talk to me about anything, anything at all. We still haven't really spoken about what happened when we were kids. It might help you."
"No point in re-living the past."
"You shielded me from a lot of what went on and I understand why you did but we're both grown ups now. You can tell me what you went through."
"You know more than enough," Jay countered defensively, he was not going to reveal everything to his sibling, or anyone else for that matter."

tbc