Diffrence

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I drew a little but I didn't really know what I should or could draw. It was just some abstract art but I liked it. It was colorful. Then I got through my list of days I made. I wondered what will await me tomorrow. How many puzzle pieces will I get? What will they look like? Will some of them fit together? What image will the pieces show me? Was it a message? A way out? A solution to my problem of being locked up in this cell? How many puzzle pieces will I need? How big will the image be?

So many questions and all I got were more questionmarks, no answers. I sighed and tried to make myself more comfortable on the ground. But it was still the cold and hard stone of the cave. I wished I had a chair to sit in or a sofa. One of these old comfortable armchairs like we had one at home would be good now. I sighed again and, stood up to drink some water from the sink. Should I go to bed already? Did I wanted to stay up for another while? I didn't know. I didn't know what was the point of this? Why did it matter? Would it even make a diffrence?

It did. And it will do. It will continue to make a diffrence. I had to make a diffrence. I had to hold on and keep up with this. Whatever it was. I had to hold on to myself and keep living with myself. I will get through this. This couldn't be that bad. Actually it could be a lot worse. I was still alive and I still had hope to go and move on and not give up. After all I was still here and I haven't lost my mind. Yet.

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