Troublemaker.
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TW: physical abuse.
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"What were you thinking! Creating trouble like that huh?! You humiliated not only us, but many other families too by bringing people into your stupid schemes!" When they arrived home, all he heard was yelling from him father.
He was so close to him that almost felt claustrophobic, he felt as if the walls and everything came crashing on around him. Everything was just, to much suddenly. All the outrages, all the yelling, and all the horrible treatment. He didn't wanna live like that. He felt the urge to just punch his parents, but he didn't.
He didn't wanna risk that. He was willing to risk anything from that. If he was brave enough.
The way he felt confident just a few hours ago, and now he felt like he wasn't even close to confident or powerful. He felt upset, angry, and fucking infuriated.
By his fucking parents.
"I'm honestly tired of you guys! It seems like I'm not the only kid in this neighborhood that thinks that way! Why are you so ignorant?!" Jeongin raised his voice against his father, feeling extremely threatened as he took a step back.
His mother stood and looked with an uncomfortable look written on her face. Her arms crossed as she tried to process the situation infront of her eyes.
He wanted his old family back..no, his own self back. He regretted falling so deep into that rabbit hole. But he wanted to badly live his own life, to be happy for once. But he just felt so useless now.
What was happening to him? All the shift of emotions? Was it all just coming down on him. He wanted Chan, to hug him and bring him close, but he wasn't here right now. And it hurt, he wanted the older to comfort him.
Shit.
He was crying.
Pathetic.
That's how he felt.
"I don't ever wanna hear you raise your goddamn voice at me ever again! Do you fucking understand?!" His father yelled, pushing his son harshly back, making him stumble to the ground with a shocked expression on his face. His ankle twisted as he made impact with the hard marble floor of the horrendous mansion they once lived peacefully in.
It hurt. A lot. He could feel his veins pumping, the noise getting clearer. He couldn't help, but to cry harder..wanting to escape from this world. Why did he have to do this. Why did he change up so fucking quick?
He needed a break. He was too tired.
Back then he wasn't exactly sure whether his parents could go so far. But somehow, all of that came down on him again.
He was still a helpless puppy.
A dumb one.
"F-fuck you! Fucking go to hell! You are nothing but a bunch of fucking bitchess trying to control my life!" Jeongin yelled through his tears, fighting the urge to break his vocal cords right there and then.
But he couldn't help but to feel emotional, scared and reckless. The dark look on his parents face, it scared him..no, frightened him.
"You are never going to learn are you? You are always causing trouble nowadays.." his mother spoke, watching her own son hurting infront of her.
"I wouldn't be causing that trouble if you just could learn to love me for who I actually am..why do I need to hide my real self behind a facade, even infront of the once that are suppose to be the closest to me...you are hurting me, mentally and physically..I can't take it anymore" Jeongin spoke back calmly, his voice hoarse from the yelling he not only did just minutes ago, but hours ago.
He knew he was a troublemaker. He wasn't going to lie about that. But he wouldn't be labeled as one, if people just listened to him.
But the look of his parents faces only expressed anger. A scary one.
He felt an powerful impact being met with his face, immediately knocking his head onto the stone cold hard floor. Causing an uncomfortable pain to shurt through the top half of his body, he felt absolutely petrified and paralyzed. Scared to move a single muscle, as he laid on the floor in pure agony. Trying to figure out was just happened, what he felt, where the pain cemetery originated from. And who was the source behind it.
He squinted his eyes shut as a ringing appeared in his ears, adding to the unbearable pain that shot through almost every part of his body.
Yet he felt numb.
So fucking numb.
He didn't know anything anymore. He felt hopeless. He felt like dying, but he knew he wasn't. He couldn't quite explain the feeling inside of him.
Betrayal.
That's what it was. Yet he still couldn't figure it out.
Indeed a dumb little puppy.
A son of some big, big, wolves..trying to chase their own pup down.
He chuckled..feeling absolutely astonished by everything. Hopelessly lying their on the floor..he couldn't quite sense anything anymore. He could though, still hear his parents breathing, their mumbling..the words mentioning a hospital, a doctor, an ambulance. But they just left him laying there, in his own sorrow, to deal with his own problems.
Merciless.
"I....fucking hate you" he chuckled out, his head falling to the side as he spotted a few droplets of blood on the ground.
Oh damn.
They went that far?
Jeongin couldn't only smile to himself, telling himself it'll all get better someday.
But was it really going to? In this house? He didn't know.
All he knew was getting up, was not a choice. He felt too weak to do so. He felt to exhausted and tired.
Should he close his eyes? Was that allowed? What if he died closing his eyes in an unhappy ending? He didn't wanna just die. And he sure wasn't going too..but it just felt like it.
This was the day..he knew that having an opinion in this community, wouldn't get him far in life. He stated it wrong, but could you blame him? He was frustrated and tired. Faking a persona day by day, and being a complete stranger to his parents from day one..would that really give him that important place in their hearts. Or did they never really love him?
He doubted it. He doubted their trust and love, their worth..was not worth waiting for. He wanted Chan..but what if he was stressed..tired, of keeping other kids in his house. He tried his hardest to feel calm, but calm didn't seem to exist in his dictionary.
All he wanted was to explore.
To see the world through his own eyes.
But now he knew why they weren't allowed to do that.
It was for their own sake.
It was for protecting them from the devils they never knew off.
Their own parents.
Quite horrible if you asked him..how dark and twisted this life really was.
He had to get someone to help him right now. Cause he was bleeding and hurting. Was this what he needed to feel before realizing that the sun actually never shines bright? Was he supposed to have hope? He felt so betrayed. That how he felt. He finally figured it out.
He finally...h-he finally figured it out.
Was he supposed to feel proud in this moment..like he did hours ago? Before this?
He didn't know..and he certainly didn't want to know.
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I wrote this chapter while a staff from my orphanage was inside my room-.
