Conference.
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Getting all settled down once and for all felt nice for the two boys. Whose hard work has been payed off sincerely through blood, sweat, and tears. The salty taste of sweat dripping from his forehead to his lips as he licked them, cause him to grimace in disgust. They seriously both needed a long shower. So, they both took individual showers in their own bathrooms. No, it was a luxurious apartment, but it was quite spacious, including 2 bathroom, an average sized one, with a bathtub and shower above it, and the smaller bathroom with only a shower stall installed. In conclusion, they kind of had their own individual areas of the apartment they could "claim" their own. The average room sized indoor balcony was a room Jeongin moved into, taking notice that Felix wasn't the happiest when it came to lights in his room..actually instead of regular lights, he settled for some blue LED lights, that lit up his room enough to give the younger a headache. But Jeongin wasn't going to complain over something so small, and especially not when the older is following the basics rules of living and having responsibilities.
It would have been an understatement if Jeongin said he was just proud of Felix. Actually, he felt Felix on so many different levels. And already saw him evolve into a more "healthier" person. No, not that his diet was filled with nutritious food, or if he worked out. But he kept his room clean, fresh air each morning, went to therapy and eventually had progress with it in the long run. He worked long and short hours at his job, to be able to pay his side of the bill. Jeongin was beyond proud of the older, but he knew it still wasn't easy for him. He still had his days, where he required to be alone or by himself, locked away to focus in himself, to let bad days pass by and not swallow him up. Some days he kept to his own side of the house, including his room and bathroom in particular, some days he would cook later than Jeongin, for the reason to not have human interactions. And Jeongin respected his privacy, and did not invade his personal space.
Though sometimes he couldn't help but drop a few jokes, compliments or small talk. To make sure that the older knew he could come to him at any time of the day if he needed too. And Felix warming up to him was something he couldn't quite get over. After months of fighting with the older, trying to motivate him, trying to communicate with him..all it required was a simple task, and that was to let Felix have his own place, his own space of privacy. Something he couldn't have back then in that smelly, rotting old room.
He knew he couldn't blame Jisung. But the conditions Felix lived under had seemed to change his ways of perceiving things. Like now, he was more open minded to wander around the apartment, to leave when he wanted too, go on walks, open to talk with a psychologist. Rather than back then, isolated in his own dread, sick from poor ventilation and air flow, pale and tired from deprivation of sunlight and D vitamins. Felix has come far, and Jeongin hoped the older realized that.
"Seems like his doing great" Chan smiled at his boyfriend long explanation of Felix's well being. Knowing that Jeongin eventually did the right thing to get Felix out of those dreadful bedrooms he lived in, in the past. "And it seems like you are on top of the game too..I'm glad you recovered well baby, that incident really scared me you know? I was afraid I was going to lose my petals to my flower crown" Chan pouted, making something shift inside the younger.
Of course he still wasn't prepared to talk about the incident. It happened so rapidly that he didn't even know where left nor right was. He felt guilty for worrying out his friends, he felt guilty for Seungmin to see him in that state, he felt guilty for attempting to hide it for Chan. And he was left with from that incident was regret and insecurities surrounding himself.
The constant tucking on his sleeves to hide the stripes of scars on hid arms, making himself feel self conscious not only about himself but his surroundings aswell. The way he bit his lips trying to form out words, and hoe his eyes became shiny with soft sprinkles of water, also known as tears. It was clear that the boy still felt the big impact from that day. The fear, the hurtful words, the sounds of angry yells and things breaking, the sound of his skin being ripped apart. It all echoed in his mind..not giving his peace at any point. Yes, it was hunting him down, and no it was enjoyable at all.
He couldn't imagine that distracting the pain within him with physical pain could've have gone so wrong, the terror on Seungmin's face when he rode the ambulance with them. The doctors words, the scene of flashing lights distorting his vision when he watched his family address the scene from afar. He was infuriated by the betrayal, the abuse and neglectment he went through..how he let his parents get away with it in the long run.
If it wasn't for them having such a huge audience of people listening and backing them up, then he would've have sued long time ago. But the amount of lawyers they had, the power they had, how they could bail themselves out of jail, and a 100% be adored by the public again. Sometimes he wondered why he even thought of sueing them..but he had too eventually, someday..get that job done.
"It wasn't supposed to turn out so bad Chan..I deeply regret that day with my whole heart..I don't even know where I stood, giving it all up for Seungmin's parents, spilling each and every drop of information I've registered the past months" Jeongin sighed heavily, picking at his own nails as he didn't dare to look at the road ahead of him. "I ruined myself, and I will never be those pretty petals to your flower crown, again Chan..they were stepped and stumbled on, crushed and drenched by the rain..they are torn apart, not pretty, not useful..they are ugly like me, I don't even know what I've done to deserve you" Jeongin mumbled, feeling the weight on his shoulders being lifted once Chan placed a supporting hand on his thigh.
"Don't talk down on yourself like that..even roses are beautiful, and they have sharp thorns that could cut you if you held it wrong..the most beautiful flowers are indeed poisoned. don't feel ashamed of yourself, you are not odd, your not normal..but you are perfect, because you are imperfect..innie, no matter how you look, I'm so far deep inlove with you, I don't even recognize the words 'flaws'" Chan spoke, his voice so direct and sincere, making the younger's tummy turn. "So stop hiding beneath sweaters baby, those are scars you can't escape from..but you should grow to love them, because they are apart of you, and you are precious, and adorable, and cute, and irresistible..you are my sweet little rose, and u don't need a thousand of those to be happy. I want this specific one" he spoke as he pointed at Jeongin, his cheeks who where blood red when the older spoke. He felt validated, no, quite literally.
"I..I love you Chan" Jeongin mumbled as the car felt silence for a few minutes. Anticipation flooded his veins as he hoped the older would return the words.
"I love you too baby..more than you would ever imagine, you are so precious to me..don't try and take that away again" he spoke as he kissed the younger's lips firmly.
Jeongin didn't even realise they were parked outside Chan's apartment, but he couldn't help but let himself drown in that kiss.
"I'm glad you were by my side..I'm so happy that I met you" Jeongin giggled as he felt himself be pulled onto Chan's lap, trapped in his arms as their lips were inches apart.
"Why don't you show your gratitude to me in a different way?" Chan mumbled, his lips tracing over the younger's flesh, so soft and delicate..that he felt the urge to paint it.
"C-can I keep my sweater on please" Jeongin asked, knowing that he wasn't comfortable being naked around the other after what happened that night. He was far to insecure about himself to even imagine himself in the mirror.
"If that what makes my baby comfortable, then how could I be the one to say no?" Chan spoke seductively, as he kissed the younger's neck with passion, gripping onto his but as if his life depended on it.
"Take care of me".
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I'm so happy for how much support this book is getting..like holy cows!
So I had my bestfriend visit me today which was the reason behind the lack of updates! But I had a great time with her, and she even came with a bottle of pepsi max :D.
