Saying Goodbye

531 20 3
                                        

5th July 2022

It had been a few days since the money in the bank match and I had a brace on my wrist, it wasn't too painful, i just had to be careful with what I was doing to it. I knew that Demi was pretty worried about it but she knew I was able to handle it. I had spent the entire day helping Venus pack up their things; their dad had been released from the hospital and he had been proven sober so now he was fit enough to raise his kid. I didn't know how I felt about Venus going back to their dad, I mean they had deadname themselves around their dad and he had made it very clear that he had a problem with their child being under the trans umbrella. Venus didn't look too happy about going home either, but they had no other choice. Ben was at school, and Maya was at daycare, I let Venus stay home so they didn't have to rush around with packing later on. Demi was at the gym and was going to go food shopping so it was just me and Venus, I was cherishing these moments with them because I had no idea how long it would be until they'd be back. 

"so, your dad, what's he like about you being nonbinary." I asked while folding up some clothes, we had music playing for background noise but I wanted to talk to them about where exactly they were going back to. they shrugged and replied "you know those people that constantly hope that their kid will be a carbon copy of them?" I nodded at them and they smiled "that's my dad. He think I'll grow out of my gender identity but I keep telling him I won't." they sighed. "what's the rest of your family like?" I asked, grabbing more clothes to fold, they shrugged "my dad was an only child, I barely know my mom, she left when I was young. I say she's dead because to me, she is. I probably have an auntie or uncle, but as far as they know, I don't exist. My dad is an alcoholic and my mom was a Junkie, so I have such a great lineage." they said, zipping up the final suitcase. I brought them into a hug "you're welcome here any time, don't forget that. It's been great with you here." I said with a smile.

we held onto the hug for a brief moment before pulling away from each other "you wanna go get ice cream?" I asked, smiling widely. Their smile grew wide and they nodded frantically. I placed all of their bags in my car, ready for when they needed to be dropped off, I got into the drivers seat and started the engine, I drove over to an Ice cream parlour and told Venus to find a seat while I ordered our Ice cream. "can I het a pint of rocky road and a pint of mint choc chip please?" the cashier tapped on the screen and gave me my total "if you didn't know already, we're holding a deal for summer that if you buy 2 pints you get another for free, would you like it?" I nodded and ordered a caramel twist for the free pint, I knew that demi liked that flavour and she would eat it when we got home.

I placed the pale green Ice cream in front of Venus and began to eat mine. We talked about the plans for when they were gone, things like school and curfew and what days they'd be allowed to hang out with Ben. It was nice to spend time with them but it came time to leave so I could pick up Maya and Venus could say goodbye to the others before I have to take them back. We drove to Maya's day care first and then we went home, Ben had just got back home as we pulled into the driveway, and I could tell that he was upset about Venus having to go home, but he was like me, he refused to admit how upset he was.  

Demi was in the house so we went in for a moment, so that everyone could talk to Venus before they had to go. They spoke with everyone but spent the most time with my son but it was coming close to 4:30Pm and they had to be with their dad by five so I had no choice but to cut things short between them. Venus got in the car and it killed me to watch my son tear up and run back into the house with Demi running close behind him so she could calm him down. I turned to Venus, they held their head low, I felt awful. "You ready?" I asked them, they looked up and nodded. The drive didn't take too long and when Venus realised that I had stopped the ignition and threw their arms around me. "Thank you for being a mom to me" they mumbled before leaving the car with all of their belongings with them. Their dad was by the front door with his arms open but Venus took one look at their father and pushed past him. His dad looked over at me from the car and waved a thankyou to me before going in and closing the door behind him.

The moment I was alone a tear rolled down my cheek and I began to hyperventilate. It felt like a hole had been punched through my chest, I felt useless, Venus didn't want to go back but they couldn't stay. The only way they would be able to stay was if I adopted them, but that wouldn't be fair on either Ben or Venus, I knew they liked each other, and if we adopted Venus they would be classed as siblings. I drove home to find Maya asleep in Demi's arms, she noticed that I had come home and smiled at me, but I had something else to focus on at the moment. Ben. "where is he?" I whispered, demi motioned toward the stairs, he was in his room. "he wouldn't let me in, I already tried." she said, as quietly as she could. I nodded and headed upstairs, I knew why he wouldn't let Demi in, he was afraid she wouldn't understand. 

I knocked on his door "go away!" he shouted but I wouldn't let him suffer in silence. I tried the lock on his door, locked, so i took a hair pin and stuck it in the lock, after a few adjustments the lock clicked and his door opened. "MOM!" he shouted, immediately hiding his face. I walked into his room and sat down on his bed, he just sulked and hid his face. "look Ben, I understand-"  "no, you don't. They were the first person I told I was trans. They were the first person to accept me for me. They were the first person I liked and I love them! but, their dad won't allow this, ever!" He sobbed, I wrapped my arms around him and he just cried and cried for a while. Eventually his exhaustion got the better of him and he passed out in my chest. I rested his head against his pillow and tucked him in before heading to bed myself, Demi was already in bed, on her phone, but she shut it off when she saw me. "how is he?" she asked as I climbed into bed next to her. "he'll be okay, he's in love" I said. It was heart breaking to see Venus leave, but Ben had finally admitted his feelings and we could move forward with that new information.   

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