YOU & ME | JENLISA

Chapter 27

Lisa

"Honestly Jennie, please leave, you make me feel uncomfortable."

"I do?"

"Yeah you do. You stand too close, you touch me and you allow yourself to be alone with me."

What the fuck was I thinking?

If I ever had a chance to blow it, it's definitely right now.

I just don't get it, I give my body to girls all the time. Conversation, sex, and nakedness. It's easy. But with her, my tongue gets tied, my brain shouts at me, telling me that everything that's about to come out of my mouth is stupid and my heart pounds within my chest loud enough to convince me that she can hear it.

It was simpler before she started paying attention to me. We never spoke, she was always just admired from afar. Now I get lumbered with fluttery feelings within whenever she speaks to me or looks my way and it's intimidating as fuck.

She stood in silence with frown lines troubling her beautifully porcelain skin. Maybe I should say something? Take it back? Explain my thought process to her, would she even believe me?

"Oh." She replied, ultra-quietly.

I felt like a shit-bag, she didn't understand and her heart was so pure that I could see her blaming herself. It wasn't her fault, it was Nancy's fault, and she just didn't know that.

There was a certain mist to the heavenly hues of her eyes, from caramel to cocoa each fleck blended together in the autumnal sunlight. She was sweet and I hurt her feelings with my absolute dumbness and incapability to converse with her like a normal human being. I just wanted to tell her everything that happened to me. Everything that Nancy tarnished my name with. I wanted to speak my truth, explain my fears and release some of the weight but my tongue was thick and heavy. It just wouldn't move.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you felt that way."

"Well... I do, so please leave me alone." I tilted my head towards the door again, gesturing for her to leave. I am an asshole, and right now, I'm making things worse with each passing second.

My palms felt sticky and I wasn't convinced it was from withdrawal. My heart thundered and my pulse raced. She had me feeling all sorts of crazy. To my dismay she took my words at face value and left me alone on the rooftop.

I stood for ages just staring at the empty stairwell, rethinking and regretting everything that I said to her. Rewording it in my mind to go differently, to go better.

I sat back down and pulled out my phone, typing out everything I wished I could say to her in my notes app. Realistically I knew that I would never have the guts to say any of it but still, I could practice and hopefully if the situation arises between us again, maybe I'll be better at making the conversation flow between us better.

The bell rang and I quickly got up and made my way to biology, another class that I shared with Jennie. I spent most of the lesson sitting at the back, eavesdropping on the conversation she was having with her bossy friend. It annoyed me that Jennie was doing all of the work while her friend just wagged her tongue non-stop about boys, parties and shopping.

Jennie pushed her mane of dark hair back with one hand and for a split second her eyes drifted over to my table. I quickly leaned down to look through the microscope, not wanting to be caught looking at her. The green cell structure wiggled on the slab and I lifted my eye up from the padding and looked at my biology partner.

He was a big guy who could probably flatten me in a second but he had a wary look in his eyes that told me he was uncomfortable. That's the Lisa affect, I just make everyone uncomfortable.

"You want to take a look?" I asked, while stepping back to allow him access to the microscope.

"I... uh... are you sure?" I rolled my eyes at him, ignored his question and turned back to face Jennie and Rosé.

She was now coating her lips in a chap stick, it made her lips a little more redder than usual but they still looked natural and so fucking kissable.