YOU & ME | JENLISA

Chapter 102

Jennie

I do get turned on, especially around Lisa. I love kissing her, it makes me wet. I love feeling her dick push against me and knowing that I've caused that reaction from her body. I like seeing her in her tank top, it has me imagining what it would be like to have sex with her. I've dreamt about it too, tried to masturbate over it.

I wanted to be the girl she could whisk into bed at unexpected and spontaneous times. I wanted to hold her hand around the boring museums and share cronuts with her and make out at the back of the bus. I wanted to take dumb pictures in front of the Eiffel tower and have her give me her jacket whenever I felt cold.

From Lisa, I wanted everything. The whole package, I'd consent to anywhere she wanted to touch me. Give myself to her completely, return the favour intimately. I wanted that. I wanted more than anything. But then my thoughts creep in and ruin everything.

I wasn't asexual.

I wanted sex.

I wanted to enjoy sex.

I just couldn't.

"No, that doesn't sound like me." I admitted, while feeling the blush creep into my face. It looked like I had left her even more confused than what she already was. I stood up from the bench. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Jennie, wait."

"No Lisa, this conversation is done."

We spent hours at the museum and the whole time I couldn't stop thinking about what I had put out there on the table. I had never spoken to anyone about this but I had revealed more to Lisa than I actually thought I ever would. She didn't speak much after that, she seemed to be trapped within her own mind, dwelling over her thoughts.

We stopped off at a small cafe in central Paris for our lunch, it was a sweet little place with cakes on display under a glass dome and ready-made triangular sandwiches boxed up to go. I sat down on a wooden chair and ran my finger over the lace doily which decorated the table.

"Peace offering?" Rosé pushed a little cherry tart under my nose and smiled timidly.

I took the tart and narrowed my eyes at her, she sat down next to me and tossed back her brown hair. Gently I peeled back the foil casing and took a bite of my tart, it was amazing. Rosé smiled to herself, clearly assessing the enjoyment on my face.

"I am so fucking pissed off with you." I stated, which rubbed the happy expression away from her lips.

"Why?" She asked, "Because I embarrassed you in front of Kai or because I told Lisa that you and Kai fucked?"

I put the cake down and wiped the crumbs from my lips with a paper napkin. Rosé smiled, like she already knew the answer to that question. "I doubt she gives a shit Jen, how many girls has she been with? You've had sex with one guy and it wasn't even spectacular."

I sat myself back in my chair, with my heart instantly tightening with a sickening dose of anxiety. I pulled my sleeves down over my hands and wrapped my arms around myself, concentrating on my method of breathing.

"That's not the point." I stared at her with venom. I think the conversation on the bus prompted the conversation which I had with Lisa in the art gallery.

"You're right, I'm sorry." Rosé answered sincerely. "That was a shit move." She confessed. "But stop fucking around, Jen. You're not spending the holidays with that shit head Kai. Hurry up and climb aboard the Lisa train. I want all the details, it's not every day that you get the option to fuck a professional."

Principal Yang shouted for us all to load back onto the bus so I didn't get to answer Rosé's suggestion but in all honesty, I didn't think I had an answer to give her anyway.