YOU & ME | JENLISA

Chapter 51

Jennie

Krystal set a glacial glare upon us that sliced right through me. She had an hour during everyone's morning free period to bark her instructions at us.

"Mino!" She snapped her fingers together. Her dance partner stood up and together they showed us the steps to a pretty song by Wildflowers. Their dance was generally uncomplicated but everyone had partners, except me. Once they had finished their demonstration, she clapped her hands and everyone broke off into their coupled groups. "Jen, could I speak with you for a moment."

I hugged my arms around my chest, feeling awkward about this whole ordeal because I knew what this was about - Taehyung. She pulled me aside and asked me to take a seat next to her on the wooden bleachers. The song replayed and everyone seemed to be dancing the steps correctly.

"You're a problem to me." Krystal opened with, stating the obvious in a non-sympathetic way. "We had try-outs and nobody was good enough except Alex but he's not strong enough to lift you. I've been keeping everyone on single dances these past few weeks but I simply can't avoid the group dances any longer."

"I understand that but..."

"Going forward Jen, I'm sorry but you're off the team." Again with the non-sympathy. My eyes narrowed at her and all of my facial features contorted.

"You can't do that!" I shouted over the music.

"I have no choice Jen, you don't have a partner and nobody wants to sign up. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to ask you to leave now, this is a closed practice session."

I'm not a violent person but right there and then I could've punched her in her stupid smug face. It escaped my understanding how I could be repeatedly sexually harassed and assaulted by a boy on the dance team, yet I'm the one forced to leave. Krystal was a great dancer but she didn't have team captain talents, she wasn't great with leadership because she cared too much about dance and not enough about people. She would fuck anyone over, as long as the dance was perfect. Well, fuck her.

"Where are you going?" Rosé called out to me as I walked towards the gymnasium door. I just shook my head at her and grimaced. I wanted to be alone, I wanted to escape somewhere nobody would find me. I wanted to cry and scream and tear my hair out without feeling watched or judged. My eyes floated up to the fire escape door and I chewed on my lower lip. Technically, I didn't promise her that I wouldn't go back up there.

My dance pumps tapped quietly against the concrete steps and when I pushed the door open, I was relieved she wasn't there. The sky lay a murky silver above me, cold air clung to my skin as I sat down in the vacant space that Lisa usually accompanies. I inhaled the positive and exhaled the negative, deeply.

I noticed a hoodie laying under the overlapping roof so I picked it up and smelt it. It smelt like her, cigarette smoke and anti-perspirant which usually I would dislike but right now that smell comforted me. I slipped her hoodie on over my arms and wrapped it around myself, clinging onto her warmth.

I took a walk around the rooftop, a big air vent hummed white noise and blew out warm air that smelt like the swimming pool. I could see into the windows of the classrooms opposite and hanging between a pole and the rooftop ledge a spider had built a pretty impressive web.

It was a shimmering mix of white and silver with pearls of raindrops clinging to the delicacy of its fine-threaded home. Amid the silk there was a fairly large eight-legged friend. It was the colour of bark and about the size of an acorn, just sitting proudly among its natural craftsmanship.

"Hey there little buddy, is life easier as a spider?"

I placed two fingers down softly next to the arachnid, careful not to destroy its artful home. Instead of attempting to climb onto my hand like I expected, it cowered away from my human fingers and then rolled itself up to play dead.

"It's okay, don't be scared. I won't harm you." I gave it a second, but it didn't move. Just balled up, trying to act inconspicuous so I moved my fingers away not wanting to cause it any further distress.

"You know, most people are frightened of you. Isn't it ironic that you're actually more scared of them?" My lip curled up into a soft smile. "Like Lisa." I whispered. "Lisa is a spider. A harmless, cute little spider. Everyone is frightened of her but she's more scared of them."

"What are you doing here?" I turned around and set my eyes on Lisa. Her eyes were red and puffy, her shoulders drooped, and she seemed deflated.

"Are you okay?"

She marched over to me, grabbed one half of her jacket and slipped her hand in the pocket pulling out a crumpled packet of cigarettes.

"Yeah." She lied, stepping back and sparking up the end, without saying anything about me wearing her clothes.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She blew smoke into the sky and sucked in her lips. "About what?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, whatever is on your mind."

She set her muddy gaze on me, eyes looking brown and sludgy in this gloomy weather. Maybe it was just her sadness masking the prettiness of what is usually bright hazel. For a moment, I really thought she was going to open up but then she pulled open the rooftop door and propped it with her foot.

"You should leave." She simply said.

"Okay."

She nodded only once and I kept to my word, walking away and leaving her alone on her rooftop.