YOU & ME | JENLISA

Chapter 46

Lisa

I was scared.

Scared of myself.

Scared of her.

Scared of all humankind.

There were so many burden weighing down my shoulders and I had nowhere to offload them. My mom was sick, so I would never trouble her with my problems. Bryan was an asshole who wouldn't care about my problems. Bambam wasn't a great shoulder to cry on and I had literally no one at school.

"Okay." She nodded in reassurance. "Whatever you need to feel comfortable around me, I'll do it."

An awkward silence fell over us like a pillow smothering my face. "Don't put me in positions where I'm alone with you."

"Okay."

"Don't stand too close, not close enough where we touch."

"Okay."

"Don't touch me."

"Okay."

"Don't come to my rooftop because it's honestly just rude."

She laughed.

"Okay."

I nodded, with my shoulders relaxing a little.

"I want to record this, our time together." I pulled out my phone and opened up the recorder app, hitting record. "Do you consent to being audibly recorded?" She was trying hard not to smile, or laugh. Either way I knew she mocking me but right now I just didn't care.

"Yeah, I do." She stated. The void between us was back, the nervous quietness where we ran out of words to say to one another. She nibbled back a secretive smile. "Should we hug it out or..."

"Jennie!!" I slapped my own forehead.

"I'm kidding. Come on, follow me." She went to grab my hand again but stopped herself and let her arm flop down by her side. She led me upstairs to her bedroom. My eyes roamed her room, taking in the neutral colour palette and soothing lights.

"Your room is so cosy and it smells like almonds." I always imagined her room to be more fancy, with posters or disco lights or something. I don't know. I ran my finger along the ropes of her hanging chair. "I've never imagined it to be like this."

"You imagined my room?" She giggled.

Shit, what?

"No." I answered curtly, my cheeks instantly burning a blaze. My eyes fell over the pictures hanging up of her friends, my lips twisted into a frown. "You have lots of friends. Lots of guys too."

"I have lots of guys?" She bit back another smile, why was she always mocking me? Why was I always saying the wrong thing?

"You have lots of guys interested in you." I reworded.

"None of them that's really caught my eye." She confessed.

I wondered why but didn't feel brave enough to question it.

"Lisa... you have to sleep in here... you know that, right?" After my aggressive outburst downstairs she seemed nervous about laying that on me. I was nervous too, no sleepovers was a rule I abide by religiously. But Jennie wasn't a paying customer and I had my tape recorder, it's not like we'll be sharing the bed.

"Yeah, I'll take the floor." I replied coolly.

"Okay." She kindly set some blankets and pillows out on the floor but it was a little early to sleep. "What you want to do? We can watch Netflix?"

"You have a Netflix subscription?" I've always wanted to see what Netflix had in their catalogue. "Can I see?" She tossed me the remote and I sat down beside her on the bed, keeping a careful distance between us. My eyes remained focused on the television screen. Netflix was just another expense that I didn't want to burden myself with but it had a lot to pick from and I was actually mildly excited.

Rain drummed on the window and everything seemed cosy in here, like the world's problems didn't exist inside this bubble. I decided to watch 'Stranger Things' from the pilot episode.

Jennie sat next to me, trying her best to keep still. Every so often she would look my way and give me an uncomfortable smile. I smiled too but the whole thing felt awkward. I kind of wanted to hold her hand, but I didn't, so I just watched the show.