YOU & ME | JENLISA

Chapter 132

Jennie

She looked so... different.

Okay, so she still had those broad shoulders and tussled dark hair but her complexion was paler and her eyes were more sunken. The hazel was lost among murky brown so instead of being compared to a majestically forest, her eyes were more like an algae-filled swamp.

"Who was that hottie you were talking to?" Troye asked me as we took a seat near the dusky bookshelf.

"Someone from my past." I answered, with my heart still beating a mile a minute. Troye took a sip of his coffee and waited for me to elaborate. I fingered the edge of my mug awkwardly, feeling the smooth, and warm porcelain beneath my finger. "Lisa." I answered really quietly.

"The Lisa?" He tapped his finger against his own mug, while thinking. "Damn girl, no wonder you were so heartbroken."

I squirmed in my seat, remembering how hurt I was to be ghosted by Lisa. After her mom passed on, I reached out minimally. I was trying to find the balance between 'being there for a grieving friend' and 'giving her space and privacy'. I sent her a few messages, letting her know that I was there if and when she needed me.

As the weeks went by, I tried again, offering her a shoulder to lean on as her trial progressed. She didn't answer a single one of my calls or messages, she didn't even open the door when I went to look for her. I was obsolete to her and she was a phantom to me, I thought we were more than that.

But then one day, her trailer lot went up for sale and soon enough, it was snagged up by another family. After that - none of my calls went through because Lisa had changed her number.

And stupid me held onto her for so fucking long. I kept thinking that she was going to show up and so I waited. But the reality became more and more harsh when we graduated without her and I had to move out of town for dance school.

The truth was, this past year I've been miserable and I hated that.

I got into the school of my dreams, I met some amazingly talented and genuinely lovely people. I learnt that sex wasn't a scary thing when it was done right and I understood how to cope when the negative feelings crush me. But there was always something missing, someone missing. My heart longed for her and deep down on some level, I understood why she was just pushing me away because Lisa has never had anybody who didn't leave her.

And as the minutes passed by and the steam lifted from my mug, I regretted my stubborn decision to refuse her. Fate had thrown us a curveball and I rejected it, now she was gone.

"I've made a mistake." I muttered under my breath.

"What? Did you say something?" Troye asked.

I looked up from the swirling pattern of melted coffee beans and met with his blue eyes. "I've made a mistake." I said, more strongly this time.

"Oh honey." He sighed and looked out towards the window. "She's gone, you might be able to catch her if you run." I looked out of the window, the streets were empty. I had been dwelling over my own thoughts for about ten minutes.

"I don't even know which way she went. She is long gone and there is no way to contact her, I'll spend the rest of my life paying for this moment."

"I'm so sorry honey." Troye placed his warm hand on mine and I stared at his fingers.