YOU & ME | JENLISA

Chapter 41

Lisa

I sat up quick, clawing for air. My T-shirt was drenched in my own sweat and eyes from all over the room staring at the aftermath of my nightmare. I lowered my gaze, ashamed of myself.

"Lisa, is everything okay?" Miss Yang asked.

"Yeah." I lied.

The whispers started all around me. I felt dirty from the way people looked at me, continuously making me feel like I didn't deserve to breathe. I tapped my pen against my geography text book, making unintentional dashes and lines against the glossy pages.

I needed drugs. Badly.

Three days clean, it's not record breaking for me but I'm damn well proud of myself. I wish I could say it got easier but it never, it only got worse.

Seungri smelt like weed, he sat one table over from me and he was stoned. I thought about forcing him into giving me a joint, I even followed him and intended on just taking one small drag from the end of his spliff but I knew that would make me want the cocaine more. They don't call it a gateway drug for nothing.

The tapping got louder, more ink grazed my page. I was creating a mess in my book, one that Miss Yang wouldn't be impressed with. I could feel beads of sweat laying on my forehead, clogging up all of my pores. I wasn't even hot, it was a cold, and clammy sweat.

I needed cocaine so fucking bad.

Under the desk I slipped out my phone, scrolling through my contacts until I got to Sam. I opened up a message with him and attached a single dove emoji. It was our code, letting him know that I wanted cocaine and I typed out my location. My thumb hovered over the send button.

"Lisa Manoban to the guidance councillor's office." The intercom announced. I pulled back my thumb and closed down the message, thankful for a distraction. I grabbed my things and left the classroom, desperately trying to fan some cooler air onto my furnace-like face.

Alice was the perky guidance councillor, she had a mane of thick curls and shopped in the plus-sized section. Her office decor was filled with bright colours and funky framed words of affirmation. I sat back on the fluffy orange chair and waited for her to give me that overstretched smile.

"Lisa, your probation officer stopped by for a chat. We're just waiting for the reception to let him in." She drummed her stumpy fingers down on the cheap wood of her desk and her smile dimmed a little. I requested all my probation meetings to be at school because I didn't want to bother my mom at home. "Lisa, is everything okay? You look a little unwell."

"I'm fine." I grit out.

Teddy walked in, greeted us both professionally and shook hands with Alice. I fidgeted in my chair, feeling instant unease. Alice left the room, giving me my privacy and Teddy jumped in her chair.

"How are you getting on?" Teddy shot me a thinned lip smile and clutched his hands together. I shrugged.

"Fine, I guess..." I mumbled.

"Staying out of trouble? Keeping your grades up? Staying clean?" His brows knitted together and he fiddled with his cuff-links.

"Sure, I guess." I mumbled again. He slammed a hard plastic cup down on the desk and pushed it my way. I rolled my eyes. Teddy stood up and pulled down on the roller blinds, closing off the windows.

"You know the drill, kiddo." He tugged on some blue latex gloves and crossed his arms, leaning against the desk. I unzipped my jeans and pulled out my junior, while peeing into his little plastic cup.

"Perfect." He said after I had filled the cup with urine. He dipped a little stick in and set it down on a paper towel. I wiped my hands with an antibacterial wipe and disposed of it in the trash.