YOU & ME | JENLISA

Chapter 73

Lisa

I could still feel her all over my body, the unwanted touch of her long fingers caressing up the bare skin of my chest, the cold metal of her wedding band colliding with my nipples. She lay back, all gimlet-eyed and powerful. A business woman of some type.

"In my face. Right in my face." She moaned.

I sprayed, with my pee falling down like golden shower petals. She opened her mouth, trying to catch my bodily fluids. It smelt pungent and bitter but she loved it, only getting turned on more and more. Her hair dripped in my urine, caught on her lashes like snowdrops, gathered into the hollows of her chest.

I rolled a condom on and slammed it into her, spreading and splashing my own filth everywhere between us. It coated her body, and it coated mine.

I hated every second of this.

I opened my eyes, laying out a small heap of white powder on the rooftop ledge. I just had a meeting with my probation officer, passed my drug test so I've got three weeks to get clean again. It had been a couple of weeks since my last hit but right now, I needed it.

I used a blunted blade to break down the crystal chunks into powder and set them into two lines, then I rolled up a dollar note and bent down before the wind lifted the powder away.

"Lisa?" My eyes lifted and shame crashed into me like a bulldozer. "I thought you stopped using?" I stood upright. For some reason, she looked hurt - maybe it's because she thinks that I've been lying to her all this time.

"I did."

"I thought you were doing okay?"

"I am." I looked down at the lines of cocaine, now broken and being carried away swiftly by the wind. I wanted to quickly snort what was left of it, it was an impulse. One that I was really trying to fight, I sighed. "I'm not doing okay." I admitted, while averting my gaze from hers because this was utterly humiliating.

"We're dancing for Krystal today, please don't take that."

I peeled my eyelids closed and inhaled. "It's hard." I whispered.

"I have something for you."

I opened my eyes, a quick dart to the rooftop ledge told me that the powder had been destroyed by the breeze. Only a thin stain remained, I could still gather the dust on my finger and rub it on my gums but that wouldn't even hit me, so with all of my strength and my will power, I swished my sleeve through the remaining mess and looked at Jennie whilst she fished through her bag for something.

She handed me a little basket, filled with random things and wrapped in a plastic film. I looked at it with bewilderment.

"It's a care package." She stated with a shy smile. "For your mom." It's like emotion drained through me, it travelled through every cell in my body, swelling up my insides - bigger and bigger until eventually I was going to combust. "It's not much, just like lip balm and stuff to make her more comfortable. There's flowers too but they're in my locker. I don't know, it's probably dumb. If she doesn't want it then she can just toss it." She nervously played with her lower lip.

"Jennie..." I choked up.

Fuck, I couldn't hold it in any longer. That emotion, it was pouring out of me. I covered my mouth with my wrist and let my tears fall. I had never meant to show my vulnerability to Jennie, or anyone else. But this compassionate gesture hit me, in the most bittersweet way.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset. I can take it back."

"No, Jennie." I couldn't even speak, I wiped my tearful, blood shot eyes with the sleeve of my hoodie. "I'm sorry, fuck. I'm such a pussy."

"You're not a pussy Lisa, it's okay to cry. Can I give you a hug?"