YOU & ME | JENLISA

Chapter 57

Lisa

This was Jennie.

I was on a paid date with Jennie.

And that destroyed my heart just a little.

I was ready to leave, to walk out five hundred dollars richer but then her small voice uttered "Hi" and my heart skipped a beat before stopping completely.

Jennie, the girl I believed was wholesome and pure. The girl who didn't judge, who looked for the good in all things. Beautiful, sweet Jennie, not the girl I thought she was. Instead, she finds out the truth about my train wreck life and makes a mockery out of it or worse, takes pity on it and offers me charity.

Well, fuck this.

I've always been ashamed of what I do, but being here having Jennie know, it plummeted me. Low self-esteem, low confidence, low self-worth all rushing in and drowning me in thick, heavy darkness. How did I get her so wrong?

"Wow. I really didn't expect this, not from you."

"Wait, Lisa. Please wait, let me explain." She grabbed my arm, her warmth shooting me up with bounds of electricity. "Please sit down. Please, Lisa." She sounded desperate.

I took a seat opposite her, anger consumed me. Does she think I want to do this? Everything I do is for my mom, to prolong her life, to make her last days more comfortable. It's not some joke she can go laughing about to the other kids at school, it's already humiliating enough. I have real life fucking problems, I'm just doing what I can to help better a shit situation.

I pressed my thumb down on the recorder, I should've done it already but I was too blind sided by Jennie that I forgot. She smiled at me, sheepishly.

"You look nice." She lied.

"Don't." I threatened, I didn't want her pity. I didn't want to be made fun of by her. I just wanted her to get with it so that this whole embarrassment could be over and done with.

"This is real. I want to pay you for your time."

"You wanted a date with me?"

Surely not. If she wanted a date with me, why didn't she just ask? I would've fainted, then got back up and screamed 'yes' from the top of my lungs. My eyes fell down the audio recorder between us and I softened my glare.

Maybe I wouldn't have. I'm reserved and awkward. I have trust issues and drug problems. I can't stop escorting because I need the money. I'm not worth her time, so I would've to respectfully decline and probably cried about it like a pussy.

"Not exactly." Of course she didn't, what are you even thinking Lisa? "More like, I want a favour from you that requires your time."

"Then why this shit? You could've just asked me. You didn't have to go behind my back and trick me into meeting with you."

"Because I knew you would never agree to what I want you for." She pressed her perfect lips together gently, casting her eyes around the room, admiring her surroundings.

She fixated her gaze on the sorry looking table plant. The leaves drooped low and were browning around the edges, it was neglected and unloved. Two rich, hickory eyes softened with sympathy for this dumb plant. She helped herself to a glass of water from the tin jug placed on each table, I thought she was going to drink it herself but she tipped it into the pot, soaking the dry soil.

How the fuck could I stay mad at this girl? She cared so much, even about the smallest things. Every living creature is important to her, be it a bug, a plant or a trailer trash escort with a severe drug problem.

"How did you find out about this?" I asked, no longer feeling anger at the situation.

"Rosé.... uh... she found you on the app. She's like a detective, she's actually the one who paid for you."

Great, so they both know.

"So why isn't she here instead?"

Her face turned bitter, like she had sucked on something sour. "Would you rather her be here instead of me?" She spat out in a pointed way.

I don't know, maybe. I've dreamed of this forever. A date with Jennie, dinner, the movies, I've imagined so many different scenarios, so many different times. But Del Vino's and getting paid for it was never one of them. With Jennie, I wanted it to be real.

"I would rather neither of you be here. My life isn't just some joke you can laugh at in biology class together. What do you want from me, Jennie?"