YOU & ME | JENLISA

Chapter 104

Lisa

"Hey!" Jennie called over to me as soon as I entered our room. She sat crossed leg on the bed, with her nose buried into her phone and a set of fancy-silk pyjamas on her back.

"Hey." I replied, going into the bathroom and closing the door. There was no lock which irritated me but I didn't have time to dwell on it because I just wanted the cocaine right now. Carefully, I tipped the white power onto the sink unit and used a card to shuffle it into two lines. I glanced around the bathroom looking for something to snort it with. I ended up ripping the label off a shampoo bottle, rolling it up and using the non-sticky side.

I curved my spine forward and set my tube to the end of the first line. I hated myself, with how deceptive this was. I was going to spend this evening lying to Jennie, or intentionally not telling her that I relapsed. Then when Teddy drug tested me in the morning, I would fail and she would find out what a failure I really am. But it went further that, if Teddy didn't send me home, I would pester Kai for the drugs all week. Rely on him to feed my addiction, he could blackmail me. Force me to change rooms with him, so he could be with Jennie or be a fucking asshole. The price of these drugs was not going to be cheap.

I knew that.

And yet, I couldn't stop myself.

I started breathing in, moving along the line like I was floating on Earth. Inhaling the chalky powder like my nose was a vacuum, sucking up everything it had to offer. I lifted my head from a clean counter and wiped my nose, waiting for the numbness to take over.

It was instant, usually. My grip tightened on the shower unit and I glanced at myself evilly in the mirror.

Fucking aspirin.

I felt anger rushing through my bones. My fist clenched and I threw it into the bathroom wall, destroying the plaster.

"Lisa?" I heard Jennie shout from the other room.

I wanted fucking drugs. I needed them. I wanted to throttle Kai's fucking throat.

My body was shaking, craving them with every inch of my heart and soul. I needed to get out of here, and find a dealer. It wouldn't be that hard. I know the right places to look.

"Lisa, are you okay?" Jennie's voice was just on the other side of the door, it was soft and sweet with a concerned undertone.

I yanked open the door and she looked past me at the bathroom wall but I walked away and threw myself down on the bed. She didn't follow me, clearly too busy assessing the damage in the bathroom. The only silver lining to this shit storm was that my ankle no longer hurt. I sat up quick, with my heart lunging into palpitations as I remembered that I left the empty baggie out by the sink.

"Jennie!" I jumped to my feet and raced towards the bathroom. She was standing there, holding the bag with a look of betrayal on her face. This is what he wanted. It didn't matter that it wasn't cocaine. He wanted to build a wedge between us.

"Is this my fault? Because I told you that you couldn't smoke?" Her eyes started welling with tears.

"What!? No!" I defended quickly. "It's not what you think okay? It's aspirin."

"Don't lie to me, Lisa! Don't fucking lie to me!" She threw the bag at me but it just floated to the floor right by her feet. She folded her arms across her chest looking really fucking mad.

"Okay, honestly I thought it was cocaine. I took it and it was aspirin. Now, I can't stop thinking about the real thing and I want to leave this hotel room and go find a dealer."

"How long have you been using again?"

"I haven't, this is the first time. I mean, I've come close. But never as close as this." I held my hand out to see it shaking like crazy. I clenched my fist and dropped my arm down by my side.

"I need you to distract me Jennie." I glanced towards the door. "Because otherwise I'm gonna go."