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Looking Into the Stars [Ice Queen]

Book Title: Looking Into the Stars
Author: LyrasNebula
Reviewer: Flame_of_Frost

Right from the first glance, the title emanates fantasy vibes, making it an apt choice for a fantasy book. I’d like to point out, however, that the word “into” is a preposition, and prepositions are generally not capitalised in a title. So, you might want to fix that. That small hitch aside, I do love the sound of the title!

Cover:
The blue theme has done justice to the fantasy feel of your book, in my opinion. Incorporating stars and clouds has brought attention to the scene of the sky, so this theme
has been captured well! A few suggestions I’d make are -
• Try writing the author’s name as two separate words instead of the single username. This adds a touch of professionalism to your cover.
• Capitalise your title. While the book title has capitalised some letters, the cover does not reflect the same. Adding the right capital letters would again make your cover more professional.

Blurb:
Starting off with a quote is a brilliant idea to draw the attention of readers! This particular quote does resonate with the starry theme you’re creating with your book. The rest of the story summary is simple to understand, which is always a plus point when readers prefer easy blurbs compared to very complicated, flowery ones.
However, the grammatical errors found occasionally must be improved upon.
For example, “...young, beautiful woman who had the world.” (comma omitted)
“...gold or social power, she had wealth oozing from her name.” (combine the two sentences)
“Elara Celeste was no myth.” (change it to the past tense)
“...across the world. Sirius, the goddess who…” (separate the two sentences).

Plot and Reader Enjoyment: This is solely on the basis of the actual single chapter published!
The first part is merely a repetition of the blurb, so I’m a bit unsure as to why you’ve made it a story part as well. Dedicated readers may want to dive into the story straightaway, so seeing a redundant first part, the same as the story summary, might put them off a bit.
Coming to your plot, I was genuinely fascinated by the beginning! Again, I love your use of a  whimsical quote to open the chapter. The reader is also immediately made aware of Aurora’s personality by her opening actions. Your use of action tags and scenes describing the character’s actions make the setting highly natural.
I would recommend adding a little more description regarding the scenes. What does the classroom look like? What sort of person is Mira? LIttle descriptions such as these really
draw the reader into the plot.
The conversations and actions were written rather well, and I did like the serene ending of the chapter, which had “peace and comfort” written all over it from my perspective.
Grammar: Unfortunately, this is where we address the elephant in the room. The chapter, although enjoyable, was riddled with grammatical errors. Some corrected sentences include (but are not limited to):
• “Shoving them messily in her bag, she walked to the…” (connect both sentences).
• “She slunk down the hallway…” (the correct past tense of ‘slink’).
• “...knew her or recognised her name, and Aurora wanted to keep it that way.” (use the past tense here).
• “Nothing too big had happened…” (use past perfect tense here).

Other errors include the omission of commas in multiple instances when using more than one adjective, as in:
“...avoid being hit by large, heavy bags…”
“...20-year-old, navy blue car.”
There are also numerous occasions where you have used too many actions in a single sentence. Keeping sentences shorter with a maximum of three actions per sentence will make it easier for the reader to keep up with the pace.

Rating and Final Note:
Having read only one chapter, it is too early to rate “Looking into the Stars.” I have enjoyed the flow and pacing of the story I have read so far, as it offers a refreshing new theme of
intrigue and fantasy. However, the grammatical errors do make it difficult to read through at times. If these issues are fixed (and I’m sure that they can be!) at the earliest, your story has great potential in the fantasy genre.

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