𝐅𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐍 | Review Shop [CLOSED]

Dungeon [Ash]

Book: Dungeon
Author: Ablazeisaleo
Reviewer: _Ash_es
Chapters read: 10

Cover: 4/5
It's a very intriguing one. It gives off an ominous and unnerving tone. Although, it makes the story seem like it's horror but the content isn't really scary and is more of action. I actually kind of prefer the former one because it perfectly matches the vibe of the story. But it's your choice.

Title/blurb: 9/10
What a captivating title. Though, from what I've read so far, I haven't seen the characters in a dungeon-like setting yet. Or maybe you are referring to the organisation where he works? Nevertheless, it's a brilliant and simple one. The blurb was written flawlessly. It was concise but still explicit and had all the elements a good blurb should possess.

Introduction: 18/20
From the first paragraph, it was gripping and tense. It was relieving that after everything, it was a dream. Though, I still got to figure out later that it was a true event. It was a great start and the scenes were vivid. We got to know a bit about his life as an orphan boy and how he lives with anticipation most of the time. But I have a question here, since the year currently in the story is 2082, how come newspapers are still being used? Nowadays, they aren't used anymore I think. Writing a story set in a year very far into the future is going to be a hard task and you should be really creative in pointing out things that might have changed significantly as some things should. It would make your story stand out.

Mechanics: 9/10
I didn't find any mistakes in spelling or grammar and that's commendable. It made the story look professional and easy to read. The paragraph spacing was done well too. Though, I found teeny tiny mistakes in the punctuation at some parts. Like one part after a question mark, I saw a full stop and a few others like that. I believe it's a clumsy mistake and it's not a problem but you should fix it up when you can.

Plot: 5/5
Mwah! Forgive me I'm too enthusiastic, but it hooked me throughout. There wasn't a chapter that I felt uniterested because every single scene was full some some action or one funny part that made me chuckle. The truths about his father and the visions he gets make me more interested and I want to know how everything would turn out. It has very interesting plot and I cannot wait to continue.

Originality: 7/10
Like I said before, since you're writing a story set in a time very far away, there should be some notable changes in the way the world works. But it's your world anyway and it's possible the world mightn't have changed much, though it's unlikely.
Besides that, the story is unique and has that action movie vibe. You did the whole good organization, evil guy thing very well, I must say.

Writing style: 18/20
You call yourself an amateur writer, but your writing says otherwise. Your writing tells me you have a rich vocabulary and you use your words intricately. Of course there's still much to learn as a writer, but your writing is impressive. Though, there're a few word choices you made that were kinda weird. Like, when the men giggled…
I think chuckled would go better because the former makes it sound like the men are crazy. Also, Bryan's outburst in the café when he was being offered the job was a little too sudden and aggressive and it made the dialogue sound cringe and Bryan sound maniacal.

Enjoyment: 20/20
I really enjoyed every bit of it. It is gripping, emotion evoking and a brilliant read. You definitely deserve all the awards and recognition given. I can't wait to dive back in and I hope the upcoming chapters are going to be full of good stuff.

Total: 90/100

─⁠──⁠──⁠──⁠─ ⋄ ☾∘☽ ⋄ ─⁠──⁠──⁠──⁠─

Thank you for requesting a review from us. Do let us know what you think so that we can improve to better provide for authors like you.