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See Through [Ash]

Book: See Through
Author: Benzita13
Reviewer: _Ash_es
Chapters read: 5

Cover: 5/5
That's a very pretty cover. The background colour is very bright and eye-catching. The font, the way the title is arranged and the picture of the girl in middle all blend together very perfectly.

Title and blurb: 8/10
I understood the title finally when I read the blurb. It is short and simple and I like that. The title, not the blurb.
I love that the blurb isn't too long, loved that quote in the beginning and I also liked the way the characters were introduced. It was written professionally and exceptionally well.

Introduction: 16/20
It was lovely, chatty and the characters are very relatble and lovable. The descriptions were very brilliant and you could picture them clearly. Very correctly done Nigerian dialogue. My problem with this chapter is that I noticed you use adverbs a lot and it makes the sentences sound kinda awkward and redundant. Try to make sentences as simple as possible. What I mean is that if a word is not really needed then it could be left out.

Mechanics: 8/10
Everything concerning your grammar, punctuation, vocabulary and spelling was perfect and commendable. Dialogue in writing is a very broad and important topic and everyone should pay attention to it.  In your dialogue punctuation, use a comma before the last quotation, not a full stop. One more thing, when two people are having a conversation, there's no need for a dialogue tag except it's really needed. I noticed you were using it in the first chapter in conversation between the main girl and her brother. It will make the writing sound less bulky. One more thing, when you are using more than one adjective to describe a person or thing, use commas to separate them.

Plot: 4/5
I like the story line, the building friendships and enemies. I like the light tone of the story, the way Mandel is getting to know more about where she is. I also like how confused she is and how you're putting questions in the reader's head indirectly. It is great hook and it leaves them wanting moree…nice job.

Originality: 8/10
Of course, people won't find many stories like yours since Nigerian themed stories aren't the most popular on Wattpad. And plus, your story is different based on your characters and the world you made and…the story line on its own.

Writing style: 15/20
I especially adore your descriptions and skill in portraying your characters emotions. You know when to show and when to tell. Reading your work was easy and enjoyable. Although, I did stumble on some paragraphs that were too redundant because you kept repeating a lot of points that the readers have already established. If you want to make your work more professional, try to pass a point across without over explanation.

Enjoyment: 17/20
Lively, funny and interesting. That's my summary. Keep up the good work.

Total: 81/100

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