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Love to Hatred...KTH [Danielle]

Book: Love to Hatred…KTH by Lucandaa
[chapters 1-24] 
Reviewer: Dark_Ghostie 

Look out for: 
• character aesthetic/development 
• blurb 

Cover: 5/5 
The cover is beautiful and I’m guessing that’s the two main characters on there?

Title: 5/5 
The title is interesting for a fanfiction. Most would assume the characters got together, but your title tells a different story which most might not think to write about. 

Blurb: 2/5 
Although interesting, there are a lot of errors in the blurb that can confuse readers who may not want to read your story anymore. Remember, the blurb is one of the most crucial elements to entice a reader to click into your story. 

Mechanics: 12/20 
Your blurb is ‘Many of us have done love. Maybe some are true or some are fake, maybe some are one sided and many have experinced it…!! 
Sometimes the way we think is not necessary it should be in the same way…
The love we do to someone with full heart is not necessary to be appreciated by that someone~
The most hurtful thing is when your love is one-sided..
Let’s see what happens in this story…
See before reading I want to say that read all the chapters so that you can understand everything, here at starting something is different but after reaching to the mid of the story you’ll understand the difference.
You’ll even understand that why the cover is only like this only by reading the book.’
It is riddled with many errors and repetitive sentences. A lot of the sentences can actually be cut and compressed into just a simple paragraph. Here is my suggestion for the blurb: ‘Many of us know what love is and have felt it in its different forms. But the most painful type of love is when it is one-sided which some may have experienced before. Follow Y/n as she journeys through the ups and downs of love and heartbreak.’
I feel that the last part of your blurb isn’t really needed, but if you like it then maybe you can change it to this: ‘Please read all the chapters so that you can understand the full story which will help you understand the meaning behind the cover.’
I’ve noticed that the story is written in a mixture of script and narrative formats. There is nothing wrong with this and since it is only a fanfiction written for fun, I won’t be too nitpicky about this, but it would be better if you stick to one format. And I’ve also noticed that you’ve used a lot of different fonts in the second half of the story. I feel that it would be better if you standardise the fonts a little. It would be less confusing and the story would look more neat.
Also, do look out for the grammar erors throughout the story. One common mistake that I’ve noticed is the confusion between ‘fainted’ and ‘faint’. For example, you said ‘he felt fainted’ when it should be ‘he felt faint’.
I would recommend using online tools like grammarly, google docs or word where they have spell check functions and can pinpoint out errors you might not even know about.

Plot: 15/20 
The plot was quite interesting, but there were a few plot holes and inconsistencies. I understand that you are putting two kpop bands in a highschool AU, right? But it is in the real world and not a fantasy world? I’m a little confused about that. If it takes place in the real world, then the part about the magical lake doesn’t really make sense unless the story takes place in a fantasy world which also doesn’t make much sense to me.
Right now, the plot is kind of all over the place. In fact, I nearly mistook your story for a bunch of oneshots than a novel. Perhaps this would be something to think about. 

Flow: 7/10 
I felt that the flow can be improved. Right now, some of the chapters don’t really link together and seems a little random at times. But some of your chapters do flow quite well together. 

Hook: 10/10 
So far, your story is quite interesting to read. Good job! 

Character development: 15/20 
I feel like your characters can be developed better. Although, yes, they all do have secrets to hide, I feel like some characters can be explored more. Try describing more of their actions, thoughts, feelings etc. And try giving them a little flaws to make them more relatable and realistic. The more realistic and relatable they are, the easier it is for others too root and connect with your characters. 

Overall enjoyment: 5/5
I really enjoyed the story even if I am not a fan of kpop. 

Total: 76/100 
Your story has a lot of potential. I think with a little bit more polishing and planning, you’ll be able to creat a masterpiece. Keep it up!

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