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17 [Ash]

Book: 17
Author: JMKeira
Reviewer: _Ash_es
Chapters read: 2

Cover: 3/5
I like the darkness it portrays but then it's not really looking like a normal book cover. And people wouldn't get the genre of the book at first glance. It's really vague.

Title and blurb: 6/10
…17, that's one interesting title. But I really don't see how it relates to the book. The blurb was simple, short and mysterious but you didn't really tell us enough about the story so I don't have an idea of what will happen.

Introduction: 12/20
The prologue was confusing. I was hooked in the beginning but as I got to the middle I got lost. I dunno what's happening, I dunno who's who and most of all I still don't understand the way you used the asterisk sign. But I guess the ambiguity of the whole thing will make readers want to read more to make sense of it.

Mechanics: 5/10
Your English is fine and you nailed the drama format that you chose. You used your punctuation correctly and your work wasn't congested. My main concern here is the frequent use of asterisks. You use them a lot and it's not pretty. It's incredibly redundant and will drive readers away. I also don't think that adding ‘front view' ‘side view' thing is necessary. It makes the work look less professional and boring.

Plot: 2/5
It's a lively story and the characters are all realistic and lovable but honestly, it's not as appealing as the blurb suggested. The dialogue is excessive and I don't think it contributes to the main story. A lot of it should be cut out. Try to work on making the story a bit more captivating.

Originality: 7/10
Even if I didn't see much from the main story, the blurb informed me about a mysterious wishing star and there's also some things about historical events. I think these things set your story apart.

Writing style: 12/20
It's quite simplistic and easy to read. That's positive. But there were a few word choices in a few sentences that sounded really weird like ‘Ananis scratches his eyes from his sleep’ or when that nurse was treating him and he yelped, you wrote ‘he squinted' do you mean ‘winced’?. And talking about ‘shot of this, a shot of that’ isn't really necessary. You don't need to explain things like it's an actual movie, even if you're using drama format. Oh, and one more thing: I didn't see any descriptions of their surroundings so I'm literally picturing everything from my imagination. Don't you think you should at least give some descriptions? Besides the characters of course because you gave those in the beginning.

Enjoyment: 13/20
Like I said before, lively narration. But the whole ‘side view' ‘shot of this and that' really detered me from moving on. So work on that.

Total: 64/100

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