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❝ 𝐅𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐧 ❞ ↳ Translated from Gaelic ↳ Fair with wisdom, bravery and a connection to the mystical and natural world Step into the enchanting realm of 𝐅𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐧 and immerse yourself in a world where mythical forests come to life. Unveil the sec...

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Maskli [Dee]

14 3 0

by MelloniaCommunity

by MelloniaCommunity

Book: Maskli
Author: HowerHowe
Reviewer: DHBurnside
Chapters read: 1

Prologue
When the first soldier is killed, do we really need to be told none of them killed him? It doesn’t make sense. Maybe, none of the sholders on board had a weapon or something to describe this more.

A woman who’s hand supported a ‘week-year-old baby’. I think you mean weak?

The comma was used a lot to run on sentences a little too long. A good example of its overuse is the paragraph beginning with ‘There’s the Elda…’

‘At once, the soldiers covered their ears…’ ‘even their ears’ at the end of this sentence doesn’t make sense. I think we need more description.

The prologue was good but I think it was too long. The section for Devlin read like the next chapter.

This book has good potential. The story is really interesting and I’m looking forward to reading more. There were a couple of grammar errors that need to be looked at and I think shortening the chapters makes sense. This works for a novel but on Wattpad, I think 1000-1500 words is the sweet spot for chapter length to keep a readers interest.

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