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Dangerous Wishes [Nika]

Book: Dangerous Wishes
Author: Dark_Ghostie
Reviewer: Nikachu22
Chapters read: 4

Main focus:
• flow
• plot
• enjoyment

Cover/Blurb/Title:
The Fire and Chains, I didn't understand it because my main focus when it comes to the cover is bringing out one or two things and that's the title or the blurb. To me, the cover should slide right between the two or shine for one.

I think a candle that has already been blown out as a background picture would make more sense. Maybe hands holding a melting candle and the wax dripping on the hands or even fire burning a piece of paper with words on it. As if the paper was a wish and the first is taking it away. Something with emotions to better set the tone of the book.

Maybe even putting something that represents the time era she's in. That's easy because all you need is a little medieval. Your title font is clear, however, the smaller font is hard to read even on my computer. I'd make it just a little bit bigger. It looks small and blurry.

Plot:
Reading chapter two, I couldn't understand the part where the Princess comes and encounters Cassie. I think that part needs a little more detail as the fighting scene was a little all over the place. I think it needs more build-up and clear transitions to better understand what took place and why. You want to work on imagery here so readers can see what's going on. (I'll explain in an example below.)

What I don't understand is that the Princess is a way better fighter than Cassie and that much was said, yet Cassie is able to do all of these counters as if she is a fighter which wasn't previously stated anywhere. She even slashes with a dagger that is supposed to kill someone in an hour and succeeds in cutting the Princess a well-renowned fighter only to then get accepted in the race. To me, it seems like she is being rewarded for what she had done more so than being punished and the only reason for that is because someone notices her skills and looks. This shows no depth in the story at all.

I think there needs to be something more cunning in the plot as everything right now is unreal.

Maybe while fighting Verity, she does hold her own, but she's more clumsy and the only thing that is helping her is her fear and desire to not be slashed by that deadly dagger. She doesn't nearly kill the Princess. She instead escapes the room after disabling her with a simple shin kick. The Princess notes her awful skills and gets a little too cocky, thus leaving her open for a stupid mistake.

As Cassie escapes she runs down the hall, witnessing the large building she's in and how much she is taking in that she has somehow landed in this story. This is for real. She pauses when Verity pulls the door open, yelling for someone's assistance. A few guards come and Cassie is again chased until suddenly by some mysterious turn of events (he heard the commotion) she stumbles right into the King himself. Innocently taking refuge behind him.

The King notices her attire and sees that her clothing isn't from here at all. He's seen this before but doesn't make a remark on it. This crucial moment puts weight on the plot because if The King has seen this before then... who has been here? (Opens up a few plot twists) Verity comes steaming from around the corner with guards telling him that Cassie is a criminal.

He smirks, raises his hand, and in so much command and pride asks her what has she done only for Verity to tell him. The King looks at Cassie and gives her a small smile as if he is plotting something. Soon The Prince comes into the scene to comfort his wife because he too has heard word of the violence and the King's sneaking deamenor changes. The King steps aside, telling them to take her and they do throwing her into a dungeon cell but not without Cassie throwing a fit first.