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Carlton High Mystery [Ice Queen]

Book: Carlton High Mystery
Author: Seong_Grace
Reviewer: Flame_of_Frost

Title:
Straight off the bat, I’m a huge mystery/horror enthusiast. So the title had me interested right from the word “Mystery.”

Cover:
I noticed that you’ve employed the skills of a designer for your cover, which has been wonderfully done. It gives just the right hint of mystery and a potential ghost thriller feel, without overdoing the horror element. The only suggestion I can make is perhaps to enlarge the author’s name at the bottom, since mobile readers may have difficulty reading small text.

Blurb:
A plot summary in the present tense is something I haven’t come across on many occasions. But you absolutely make it work! And work well indeed. I found the blurb highly satisfactory, as it revealed just enough to pique the reader’s curiosity, without giving away too much of the plot. I managed to find just one sentence that can be changed, though:
“...she catches a glimpse of a translucent figure that sends shivers down her spine.” (instead of the verb form ‘sending’).
Your blurb is also slightly longer than the average length, so shortening it by just a few sentences may help polish your work!

Plot and Reader Enjoyment: (This is on the basis of the prologue and the first four chapters)
Descriptive paragraphs are definitely your strength, as I could see at almost every turn! The vivid depiction of the environment, especially that of Carlton High School,
transports the reader right to the scene. Description and narration are crucial aspects to writing mystery or ghost stories, and you’ve genuinely succeeded!
I did enjoy the natural conversations between the characters, and their character development has been constructed in a smooth manner. I also loved the perfect pace of the plot, finding it neither too quick to keep up with nor too slow to hold my attention. Well done on this!

Grammar:
Reading through the first four chapters, I found very few grammatical or spelling errors. Some of the few I noticed and corrected would be:
“...make her way to the exit, however, Amelia caught up with her…” (Chapter 2)
“You already became friends with her? That was fast! She is my best friend, Lucy.” (Chapter 3. The sentence has been edited here).
I did, however, come across an entire stretch of Chapter 2 that completely threw me off track. The scene depicting the conversation between Lucy and Amelia about Alex (chapter
2, towards the end), had me confused. The beginning of the conversation has been written in a completely different style compared to the rest of the chapters, and has numerous typos
and grammatical errors. The writing then regains its original quality and resumes normally. This stretch had me thoroughly baffled, so I’m unsure how to review it, considering that it takes away from an otherwise very engaging story.
Another observation was your repeated use of the word ‘ethereal’. While this is the perfect word for any mystical description, there are also other synonyms you could use, such as ‘other-wordly’ or ‘unearthly’ that would bring in some variety.

Rating and Final Note: 7/10
“Carlton High Mystery” is a wonderful book for any mystery or ghost story enthusiast. The well-planned plot, pace and writing style make this book a compelling read. If the
grammatical errors are checked and corrected at the earliest, the book would certainly be polished and thoroughly professional.
As a side note, I also noticed that you’ve entered ‘Carlton High School” into the Wattys 2023. I wish you luck and hope to see you reaching new heights very soon!

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