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Stuck Inside [Nika]

Book: Stuck Inside
Author: CoffeeAndSilverInk
Reviewer: Nikachu22
Chapters read: 9
Main focus: Character portrayal and interactions, plot, writing style, descriptions, pacing and enjoyment.

I like the plot. I like it because you could do a lot with it. It’s simple and yet it's a plot that requires a lot of focus on the scenarios the characters will be placed in. This one is solely built on what two people will be seeing and doing day by day with each other-- influenced by the emotions they give and take in. With the strict rules given by the government, there isn't much going out, and doing anything is out of the question. I think the plot also proves to be a challenge because what drives it will be character interaction only and to keep people invested then you have to deliver a lot of drama. But not just any drama, drama that makes sense to many. Best to keep the scene as relatable to real life as possible. They are limited to things that require them to go out and have fun thus keeping the plot focused on an apartment building. Seeing how you portray a plot solely built on character interactions is interesting. I like it.

Your writing style isn’t bad at all. I think wordplay could help you. Focusing on different ways to write will help with adding detail to certain scenes. I don’t think all scenes need details, but some will help support the story as a whole.

I blushed, looking away shyly.

Vs

My cheeks turn a deep rose, heating my face as I blink slowly. My gaze shifts to the wiggle of my toes, attempting to hide the turmoil brewing within me. I can feel it—my heart erratically beating, skipping rhythms that leave me gasping for air. I strive to manage the rising anxiety, but my mind, when it seems focused, falters. Small breaths escape my pursed lips, and with a hand, I sweep stray hairs behind an inflamed ear. Rigid and unwelcoming. Before I fully grasp my predicament, an awkward chuckle breaks from my lungs like a forced laugh, and my mind freezes over. Her hand is warm on my jaw, appearing as Nina cradles the weight of my head. As though a bucket of ice has been dumped down my spine, my breath stops, and my eyes dart up to meet hers, filled with uncertainty. I lack the courage to confront this, but all that reflects within my glassy eyes is her, smiling.

When it comes to descriptions, whether you’re looking to describe a who, what, where or when, the one thing you need to focus on is making what you're writing about into a visual picture. So let’s say you want to describe a scene-- particularly a sunset. You want readers to picture the scene as if they were looking at the sunset. You want readers to picture the entirety of whatever world your characters live in. Think of these details and add them to the story. Explain how Nina’s apartment looks to Jade but with more depth. When Jade first enters, what does she see? You mentioned that Nina’s apartment isn't the cleanest. What does she think as she’s seeing it? Explain this a little more.

Maybe she notices some pictures? She wants to ask about them but refuses, making a mental note of who is who in these pictures. Maybe she makes a note of how life was before the quarantine and wonders what she was like before that. Maybe she’s a little thinner than in her photos.

Adding description goes a long way and there are many things you can add to. Describing a scene just takes a bit of wordplay, but again you want to focus on how well you can make a reader visualize your book. If you give no setting then we as readers may feel a sense of disconnection to the story. You want to be as immersed and involved as possible so that in the end we could see how ugly and/or beautiful the world is to them. Also, you don’t want the character dialogue running the story without the proper detail to help immerse readers.

Example:
With a slight lift of her hand, Jade's fingertips brushed across the old, brown, dingy couch, noting the dryness and stiffness of the fabric. It clearly had seen better days. Scanning the room, she observed the trash accumulated near the television stand, beneath the small coffee table, and behind a closed door with a tattered large blue coat hanging from it. Discarded candy wrappers, crumpled writing paper, and spent instant coffee packets told their own story, with no waste basket in sight. She glanced at Nina, who continued her slow walk to the kitchen, raising an eyebrow at the mess strewn across the wooden floor. A recently cleaned carpet lay just under the television stand, its edges curled upwards, revealing a thin layer of dust underneath.