Lethal Love [Nanya]

66 8 3
                                    

Book: Lethal Love
Author: evnshyy
Reviewer: nanyapixie6
Number of chapters read: 12

Title: Very intriguing. I couldn't get the title from the story though. I got the lethal part but I didn't get how it related to the love but from what I've read so far, it seems it would make
more sense later in the story.

Cover: The cover is simple yet elegant and beautiful. The colour used on the author's name matches the body of the cover and I had to look hard to find it, perhaps use a colour that would contrast from it or that is related but in a darker shade, just something to make the name more beautiful. But the cover doesn't do the story justice, it doesn't tell much about the story. It would be great if it could because we judge stories by their cover.

Blurb/Description: The beginning quote is beautiful, made me intrested. The description is very emotional, my guess from this is that the story is. I love the way it was written, but they
were a few grammatical errors. But from the description you can tell what the story is about.

Originality/creativity: It's unique and a fun read. I'm glad the story took a twist while maintaining its original genre. Are the poems originally yours? If so they are lovely. The two different story was nice( I mean showing what was happening in silia and also in Baekje).

Grammar/punctuation: the use of Punctuation is good, but the grammar needs improvement, your use of words is quite nice but in terms of collation and making meaning they are a lot of
errors. You mentioned English was not your first language, but it was still well written. I was impressed with your Punctuations and you did a fine work with the grammar, but the use of words could really improve, look out for the minor mistakes(using 'an' before a word starting with a vowel and not 'a' also using his for the term 'king' and not her, also mistaking 'in' with 'on') The use of the words makes it very confusing for the reader.

Plot: Very intriguing. A bit cliche but interesting. I loved its overview. It was very intriguing.

Writing style: I loved all the aesthetics and quotes/poem at the beginning. The ending texts at the bottom are really nice. Your description of events is good, editing would make it better.
Detailed description is always a plus and hou executed that well.
Also I noticed you used bold text for the Pov's and also the kingdom. It can be confusing. The first time I saw 'sillia', I had thought it was a person because in the previous chapters
only the Pov's were in bold. I later knew Silia was a kingdom in the next chapter but this made the previous one confusing. Maybe writing 'Kingdom: silia' or 'meanwhile in silia' or
something like that.

Your description of the events happening is very good, but it's also too much, describing events and outfits is important but can also be very distracting. Eg when you were explaining the outfits of every single brother, I found myself scrolling through it. Try to reduce it by reducing the words or using something similar to describe thereby reducing the words.

Character development: I didn't really notice any character development so far but I feel jimin and Tia may have one later.

Overall enjoyment: As much as I loved the plot, I wasn't really intrigued by the story. But from chapter 10, the story took a new turn that was when I started liking the story, the twist that happened and the events prior. I really enjoyed it.

─⁠──⁠──⁠──⁠─ ⋄ ☾∘☽ ⋄ ─⁠──⁠──⁠──⁠─

Thank you for requesting a review from us. Do let us know what you think so that we can improve to better provide for authors like you.

𝐅𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐍 | Review Shop [CLOSED]Where stories live. Discover now